Fortune Presents Gifts Not According to the Book

Oh what a wild week it has been my friends, a wild week indeed. After getting through a hectic list of chores and assignments, I'm finally free. Turns out my paper for my Paleontology (moar liek Palin-tology, amirite?) class went over better than I expected. I don't know whether I should be amazed or thankful, but my teacher said that it was very well written. I guess those many hours of sleep (and, for that matter, eating) that I sacrificed for that were worth it then. I was so afraid that I wouldn't do well, or that I was missing some huge point, but I guess not. Good news for me.

Still have to find time for... well, everything else now. I need to watch some of my movies and TV shows, which I still haven't done, catch up on a little reading. Maybe even make a new tape for my car. I'm also running low on monies, which sucks, but then with the economy being what it is, I'm by no means surprised. I suppose I'll wind up moving to one of the BRIMC(S)... within the next 50 years those will be the biggest economies in the world anyway.

But, this weekend will be a time for relaxing and celebration. And crazy horror movies, but I think thats a given, obviously... And episode of Primeval has an Australopithecus boisei running around, well, now I know more about their anatomy, evolution and dietary adaptations than I ever thought possible. So I guess I could write a 10-page blog critiquing their recreation or something...

Still, it would be very sweet to get an Australopithecus boisei (or robustus, or aethiopicus) as a pet. That'd be kick ass! I mean, come on, look at those jaws!

Tiger Phone Card

Lyrics by Zac Holtzman and Dengue Fever

Zac Holtzman: You live in Phnom Penh

Chhom Nimol: You live in New York City

Together:
But I think about you so so so so
So much I forget to eat

Zac Holtzman: It’s 4 am I check my email

Chhom Nimol: I’m too geared up to fall asleep

Together:
So I write you back and count the days until we’ll be together

Chhom Nimol: The first thing that I’ll do
Is

Together:
Throw my arms around you

Zac Holtzman: And never let go

Chhom Nimol: And never let go

Zac Holtzman: I call you from my hotel room
I’m sitting on the hallway floor
I know that we are so
So so
So tired my phone card just expired

Chhom Nimol:
You only call me when you’re drunk
I can tell it by your voice
It’s the only time that you
Open up to me and tell me that you love me

The first thing that I’ll do
Is

Together:
Throw my arms around you

Zac Holtzman: And never let go

Chhom Nimol: And never let go

Zac Holtzman: I’m thirty-thousand feet high
Flying through the dead of night
I took an Ambien and you came to visit me in my dreams.

Chhom Nimol: You were bathed in blue light
Floating right in front of me
Your face was so
So so
So bright I had to close my eyes to see

The first thing that I’ll do
Is

Together:
Throw my arms around you

Zac Holtzman: And never let go

Chhom Nimol: And never let go

Together:
Never let go oh oh
Never let go oh oh
Never let go oh oh
Never let go oh oh
Never let go oh oh

I Need to Sleep

What a crazy week this has been. Between school and... well, more school, I've been running all over the place. Luckily, I managed to finish all of my papers, get to my debate and to make it to the Burma Studies Conference this weekend. Unfortunately, my sleep cycle is now shot to hell. I've been sleeping erratically all week. That's erratically, not erotically... completely different context there.

With any luck, I won't have to talk about lateral abductor mechanisms in A. afarensis again for quite a while.

So after my test on Monday, I will be able to relax and enjoy the rest of my week. At least until it gets to the point where five hundred or so things all pile up at once again, as things are sure to do just because the Gods enjoy tormenting us lowly mortals. Oh come on... Didn't anyone out there ever read Homer's Ὀδύσσεια? One of my favorite books growing up... I always thought Odysseus was one of the coolest heroes.

Incidentally, for those of you already familiar with Greek and Roman culture, you probably won't be surprised to know that Odysseus was known to the ancient Etruscan civilization of Italy as well (as Uthuze). Just thought I'd throw that out there, cause the Etruscans don't get alot of love over here.

I've gotta thank Michelle for bringing over the Office and the last few episodes of Chuck so that I'm now all caught up with that. Now I've just gotta catch up on Heroes and I'll be good.

Also, Noureen deWulf made a cameo as a spy/pita delivery girl, which was awesome, since I don't think I've seen her in anything since 'American Dreamz' (which, admittedly, was a pretty cheesy movie).



A google search turned up images of her and Kim Kardashian (who appearantly got voted off 'Dancing with the Stars' this season before I could see it; what a pity) at the Maxim Awards.



Personally, I find Maxim and those sort of magazines to be a little trashy, though. Me, I'd much rather be reading trashy pulp novels with burly, square chinned, bare fisted adventurer-scientists who pounce off to darkest Africa or exotic India, find lost civilizations and relics, make love to beautiful women and fight against the Nazis (or Commies, or whoever the generic villian of the week is these days). Does anyone else remember that genere? I've got a whole book full of the covers of those, and let me just say, wow!



WEASELS RIPPED MY FLESH! Actually... I think the thing on his shoulder is maybe a muskrat or something, but I rest my case. Those pulp adventure stories were really something else... animal attacks, head hunters, 1950's super-science, lost civilizations, sultry naked women.

Well, that or trashy books about bigfoot, UFOs and global conspiracies. Either is good by me.

But, back onto the subject of hot Asian chicks, Navi Rawat is appearantly reprising her role as 'the Heroine' in the straight to DVD sequel to 'Feast', appropriately enough called 'Feast II: Sloppy Seconds.' Comes out this Tuesday, and I'm quite excited about that. I'm also baffled, since her character (and, actually, several of the others) all got eaten in the first movie, but whatever. Knowing almost nothing about it beyond the fact that it features the monsters attacking a small town in the middle of nowhere, I fully plan on buying it. The first movie freakin' blew me away, so I expect great things from the sequel. This means movie night, folks.



And, on that same subject, I'm also looking forward to the (eventual) release of Cryptid, which may or may not be released under a different name. I've found very little about this movie, beyond that it stars Lori Petty, Sandra Teles and Petey Pablo, and is about 'bigfoot in South Africa.' Presumably it was inspired by both Zulu stories about the Tokoloshe and archaeological evidence about Australopithecines, which ironically brings us full circle.

Between 'Feast II,' 'Vipers' (the newest movie in the Maneaters series) and Dario Argento's 'La Terza Madre,' I'm going to have quite a few good horror flicks for this Halloween. Go me!

Just When You Think Humanity Can't Get Any Lower...

Man, this is disturbing. Latest out of Australia claims that a seven year old boy went on a killing spree at an animal center. Appearantly, he hopped over a fence at the Alice Springs Reptile Center and proceded to bludgeon 13 animals to death (several endangered species) and feed others to the crocodile. He also tried, unsuccessfully, to get into the crocodile exhibit. Personally, if you ask me, it's a pity he didn't because no matter how psychotic he is, a crocodile will tear a seven year old human to bits every time.

Look... I'm not some hard core environmentalist nut, but this kid... Wow! Not only did he get into the exhibit, but he knew enough to avoid alarms, and was smiling the whole time. His violence towards animals suggests a form of sociopathy, but what disturbs me more is that he was subtle enough not to get caught for HALF AN HOUR! A couple things bug me there; shouldn't there have been a security guard or curator to stop him? It's not that hard to overpower someone that small. But moreover, what about his parents? Did they just let him go wild? Creepy, huh? Mark my words, this kid has all the makings of a future serial killer.

The Zoo is, thankfully, suing the parents, and quite frankly I hope they take them for every red cent that they are worth, because the Aussies are too sissy to prosecute minors it seems. Thats a big mistake. I've noticed the media hasn't released his name or much on him; courts probably won't let them either. This is a huge problem, because this kid is displaying all the signs of a psychopath. He won't be stopped, put in a facility or given treatment, I can garuntee you, and the parents probably will bend over backwards to protect the little monster.

I'm telling you, the best possible fate here would have been if the crocodile ate this son of a bitch, or if he got bit by one of their venomous snakes... death adder or taipan or brown snake. Something like that. Because ten, twenty years down the road, this very same kid is going to be a violent, socially maladjusted adult, and he will have moved on from small animals to people.

Causes for ConCERN

To be honest, I never expected to be posting this blog. To be honest, I never expected to make it this far. I kind of figured that CERN creating a miniature black hole would cause the end of the world, or at the very least make it so we we're living in some sort of post-apocalyptic Mad Max type scenario. You know, just to spite me and all. Hell, I was even willing to entertain the notion that time and space would break down and prehistoric monsters would rampage through the streets.

But no... CERN has come and gone and nothing. Not even some sort of vaguely ominous clouds, or dramatic music, or anything like that.

Go figure.

Between my Burmese class and my Paleontology class, I've been kept fairly busy. Actually, in the course of doing research for my paper, I've found theres quite a bit of overlap between Burma and the Indian subcontinent... over in Nagaland, Assam, Manipur, the Chittagong Hill Tracts. That part of the world. Especially when you get into the British Colonial period. Burmese expansion into the west is largely what provoked the Anglo-Burmese Wars! Of course, by 1824 the British Empire controlled all of Burma...

But I'm kind of burned out on that for the moment, as fun as it is to talk about head hunters and dacoity.

I've also been thinking I want to get some sort of crazy new animal, especially if it was something that I could freely allow to roam around my room. Ever heard of giant coconut crabs (Birgus latro)? Biggest land arthropod in the world, weighing some 10 pounds or so and with a leg span of three feet! They live pretty much all through the Pacific and Indian Ocean, from about say... Tahiti all the way west to Madagascar, and on most of the islands. Its pretty much a scaled up hermit crab. They also apparently have a thing about stealing silverware. How lulzy is that? It seems that the Okinawans even keep them as pets, which sounds about right for the Japanese.



I SO want to get one.

I also caught a frog the other day. In a shoe box, in fact. Named him 'hoppy' in honor of the episode of Monk that was on that day. Turns out the flooding is really great for wildlife. Worms, water bugs, frogs, shrews, turtles, all sorts of stuff.



Also looks like Uzbek journalista and activist Umida Niazova was in the news again, being honored with an award from Human Rights Watch International for her work. It seems that what I've heard about reporters who become stories having a hard time getting out of the spotlight is true. Then again, her whole trial was a political thing, really. I've found myself reading alot more Uzbek and Welsh news media lately, especially when I'm waiting around between classes.

Of course, BBC (or, the Beeb, as those in the know call it) is fun in general. I'm absolutely in love with the show Primeval, which some of my friends in other parts of the Anglophone world had known about for years anyway. I WISH we had dinosaurs and other prehistoric creatures roaming about through the streets... how awesome would that be to bring, say, a family of Australopithecines to my Paleontology class? I work under the assumption A. boisei would help me study for class.

Not going to Chicago World Music fest this year... Really, its alot of things. I don't have the money, most of my time is getting wasted on other things, and to be honest I disdain being associated with a crowd of uncouth pseudo-intellectual yuppies who don't appreciate the fine art of the maqam. I know for a fact I can't make tonight's show featuring Mamek Khadem and Gaida Hinnawi, which was pretty much the only thing I even wanted to bother seeing in the first place, and I suspect I won't go see Gaida Hinnawi's performance tomorrow with Amir el Saffar.

EDIT: Screw wallowing in self-pity. Screw all ther drama and feeling sorry for oneself and the pathetic whining. Yeah, it sucks that I didn't get to go to Chicago World Music Festival this year. Alot, but I can't sit around crying over the past. It's done and gone, so no more. There will be other shows, other artists, other places to go and things to do. Gaida Hinnawi has an upcoming show at the Arab American National Museum and Mamek Khadem... well, there aren't really any good venues for Persian art/culture here in the Midwest, beyond maybe the Iran House of Greater Chicagoland. But whatever. Live and learn.

And yes, the new episode of Primeval did rock, thank you very much!

Islam Unplugged

Ramadan Mubarak, y'all. Today I'm going to take a break from politics for a moment to focus on culture, art and other civilized pursuits. Coincidentally, or perhaps not, this month coincides with a number of great musical releases.

Putumayo Presents Acoustic Arabia


Following up on their earlier 'From Cairo to Casablanca,' 'Arabic Groove' and 'Sahara Lounge' releases, world music label Putumayo has collected together acoustic tracks (some thus far unreleased) from Souad Massi, Rasha, Maurice el Medioni, Les Orientales, Zein al-Jundi and others. In fact, not only did Zein al-Jundi write the liner notes, but she also included a new track ('Wijjak Ma’ii') from her long awaited second album. To coincide with this, Putumayo arranged for al-Jundi to perform a live concert in Austin. I was unable to go, but fortunately she performs regularly so anyone interested should try and see her perform live if you ever happen to be in Texas.


Zein al-Jundi

Rough Guide to Turkish Cafe Music


Likewise, we've already had the Rough Guides to Arabic Cafe, North African Cafe and Bellydance Cafe. Their newest release takes us to the hammams and smoke-filled coffee shops of Istanbul, Ankara and Izmir. This album spans the sounds of Anatolia, from pop star Sezen Aksu to the Gypsy Fasil sound of Selim Sesler to Sultana's controversial hip-hop. And it includes a stunning performance of Daleh Yaman by Knar and Tatiana Bostan. To top it off, later this month, they will be releasing the debut album of Algerian artist Akim el Sikameya and a DVD release of Sufi Soul, which features performances by Abida Parveen, Mercan Dede, Youssou N'Dour, Junoon and others.

Nine Heavens - Niyaz


Following hot on the heels of their debut self-titled album, Persian fusion ensemble Niyaz has released a deluxe double-CD album featuring more electronic Sufi songs for the 21st century. With the combined talents of the Azam Ali's heavenly vocals, Loga Ramin Torkian on saz and rebab, and electronic remixing from Carmen Rizzo, Niyaz is perhaps the most exciting project in Iranian music since the 'Masters of Persian Music' CDs.

Ana Hina - Natacha Atlas


The newest release by former Trans-Global Underground vocalist Natacha Atlas, this acoustic album finds her too returning to her roots. Influenced by the classical Arabic music of Abdel Halim Hafez, Muhammad Abdel Wahhab, Fairuz and Oum Kalthoum, Atlas recreates the Golden Age of Cairo's music scene. But, as always, she doesn't confine herself to Arabic music entirely. Showcasing her talents, she also does a stirring rendition of the ballad 'Black is the Color of My True Love's Hair' and reads a poem by Frida Kahlo. A good, eclectic mix, brought to life by her divine voice, as always.

That should be enough music to keep anyone happy until the forth coming Chicago World Music show, which will feature performances by Mamek Khadem, Gaida Hinnawi, Lamajaml, Richard Hagopian's Kef Time Ensemble, Baba Zula, and many others. Look forward to that.

Caucasian Breakdown

So... things between Georgia (as in the Caucasian Republic of Georgia, not the U.S. State of the same name) and the Russian Federation have continued to be interesting. In theory, the Russians are acting as 'peace keepers,' and confining their efforts to South Ossetia and Abkhazia. Of course, their definition of peace-keeping seems very different from that of the rest of the world. Much in the same vein as the U.S. 'private military contractors' (wink wink) in Iraq, come to think of this. Don't you love euphemisms?

So what is all this nonsense about anyway? Well, although I'm posting this rather later than I would like, I think it my duty to put out some factual information before the vapid, pop-culture psuedo-intellectuals decide adopt the issue as their latest cause célèbre en masse, without knowing or caring about the people on the ground, and proceed to flood cyber-space with bullshit telling us what we 'need to know' about this or that.

So... Russia, the 'Evil Empire' as some of you who remember the Reagan years might know it. What is their deal? Well... the long and the short of it is that Russia has not enjoyed the most cordial relations with their Caucasian neighbors to the south. I refer in this case to Chechyna, but also Dagestan, Ingushetia, and of course Georgia.

First of all, though, let me clear up something. When I say 'Caucasian,' I do not in fact mean 'white.' Well, not directly. In this context, Caucasian refers to the Caucasus region, which includes the independent states of Armenia, Gerogia and Azerbaijan, as well as portions of the Russian Federation and perhaps Iran and Turkey. The region is far from homogeneous, however. Its more of a patchwork of ethnicites, languages and religions - Apostolic Armenians, Shi'ite Azeris, Caucasian Jews in Azerbaijan, Orthodox Abkhaz and Cossacks, Sunni Laz and Adjarians, Buddhist Kalmyks, and many others. Indeed, historically Arab georgaphers knew the region as al-Jebel al-Alsun, the Mountain of Tongues.

So how does this relate to Mother Russia, you ask? Well, this goes waaaay back to the Tsarist days of Russian expansion. See, one of the greatest ambitions of Russian Imperialism was the acquisition of warm sea ports; a quest which literally took them across Russia, from the Baltic Sea to the Pacific Ocean. Amongst the most important acquisitions were the warm, rich lands in the south.

Fast forward to today. Sure, sure, the Soviet Union has collapsed, but even so, three things have remained at the core of Russian identity - Православие (Pravoslavi, or Orthodoxy) самодержавие (Samoderzhavi, or Autocracy) and народность (Nardnost, or National Spirit). Hell, Russia can claim a direct inheritance from the ROMAN EMPIRE! Long after Rome had fallen in the West, Konstantinopolis continued to rule the East. Even after the Turks finally conquered the city in 1453, Muscovy claimed to be the 'Third Rome.' In fact, the very word Tsar (formerly transliterated as Czar) is derived from the word 'Caesar.' The Russians are a proud people, in spite of widespread poverty, depression and government corruption.

BUT... what really bothers the Russians is the loss of what they see as 'their' territory. With the collapse of the Soviet Union, not only did the Warsaw Pact countries like Hungary, Czechoslovakia, Romania and Poland go their own ways, but countries like Lithuania, Uzbekistan, Armenia, Turkmenistan, Lativa and Ukraine (and please bear in mind that Kiev is the birthplace of Russian culture) have broken away from Russia. This left many ethnic Russians stranded well beyond Russian borders, incidentally. Moreover, huge tracts of land in Asia, such as Sakha, Komi, Buryatia, Karelia and Tatarstan, have pretty much complete autonomy within the Russian Federation. As far as many Russians are concerned, the Russian Empire... no, the very SOUL of the Russian people, is being broken apart.

And thats really what Chehnya boils down to. It's not about oil or gas, as the Russians have plenty of resources. Nor is it about religion, as Islam is a majority in other areas where the Russians have few problems with the local populace. No, its really about territory; no matter how small a scrap of land, the Russians see it as part of THEIR Empire, and its a humiliation they will not accept.

I am reminded immediately of a poll I had once heard about that was conducted in Russia. The question was something along the lines of 'what ethnicity wouldn't you want moving next to you.' Incidentally, aside from western Europeans, the highest rated groups were the Gypsies, Caucasians and finally Jews. Asians and other (non-Russian) Slavs were mostly tolerated. No doubt this extreme bias reflected the (then) heightened tensions with Chechnya, as well as revealing some disturbingly widespread racial prejudices.

But, getting back to the Caucasus, this current spat of things with Georgia actually owes to the the geo-political situation in the Balkans, which goes back to another pillar of Russian identity, pan-Slavism. See, one of the main arguments for Russian expansion always hinged on the argument that the fellow Slavic peoples (particularly the Orthodox Slavs) were being oppressed by the Ottoman Turks and Austro-Hungarians. Mother Russia, then, stood to 'protect' these little Slavic brethren through military force. Similar sentiments were used to justify Soviet expansion in Eastern Europe. Of course, as always, nobody actually bothered to ask the people living there in the first place, but then I guess thats the point.

Today, the Warsaw Pact and Yugoslavia are things of the past. But the Russians still see this as 'their' backyard. So between the missile defense system in Poland and American/Western support for an independent Kosova, the Russians once again find themselves fearing that they have lost their voice on the world stage. Well, if we can back Kosovo, the Russians say to us, then they will back South Ossetia. As usual, the western media has completely forgotten about Kosova's sovereignty and moved on to the fast paced world of celebrity sex tapes and iPhones, but Russia... Russia has made good on her promise. This whole thing in South Ossetia is basically a pissing contest between Russia and the US/EU, with the Georgians caught up in between.

It doesn't help that Georgia has been seeking NATO membership, another move that I heartily support.

Now, as my old Russian teacher knows, I love the Caucasian peoples. Such a beautiful mosaic of cultures. But I don't see how South Ossetia and Abkhazia will fare any better by being annexed into the Russian Federation. Certainly their Chechnyan brethren have not fared well. But then, the geographic borders of the entire Caucasus region do not actually reflect the distribution of peoples living there, and indeed should extend well into Iran and down to the Mediterranean coast were we to draw them in any logical pattern anyway.