Dreams are a funny thing. Somewhere between fantasy and memory, they are as 'real' as you want them to be when you experience them. Yet, so ephemeral are they that they fade from the mind in but a short time after you awaken. I'm told that we all dream, every time we go to sleep. If that's the case, then we don't remember everything we dream. Sometimes, I remember nothing of my nocturnal psychodramas in the morning. Void, blackness, emptiness. That scares me, for reasons I can't put my finger on.
Lately, though, I've been having vivid and, quite frankly, confusing dreams, night after night. And when I wake up, I can recall them with near perfect clarity. So, for no other reason than that they confuse and/or interest me, I thought I would post them here for reflection.
The follow is true; the names and dates may have been changed to protect the innocent.
* 16-12-08 - This one baffles me. Apparently, I found a bunch of rodents frozen in blocs of ice outside. All shapes and sizes - mice, rats, hamsters, jerboas, guinea pigs, porcupines. I started thawing them out in a big tub and trying to rescue them. I also was trying to find one that would be friends with my pet rat Sandy.
* 18-12-08 - I was in JJC, except it was mostly abandoned. Also, it was sort of film noir, with dutch angles and in black-and-white. I met an older maShona woman in the hall. She told me that they were serving traditional Zimbabwean food in the cafeteria because it was a holiday, so I went there. There was also strange music coming from the speakers.
* 20-12-08 - There was some sort of post-Apocalyptic world and I was in a grocery store buying stuff. There was also a magician in a black mask, and then a pregnant bellydancer in a red costume came and did a cabaret-style dance. She had a tattoo of a farohar (Persian winged disk) on her butt, and of a tiger on her back. Interesting use of symbolism, I think.
* 21-12-08 - Characters from Heroes were in my dream, and Dr. Suresh wanted to 'discover my powers.' Also, I went to a hospital and there was some guy in a padded cell who was speaking in an unknown language. When I went to see him, I had visions of some sort of isolated glen in Greece at night. Either inspired by watching too much Heroes and/or reading paranormal message boards.
So, take of those what you will. Some of them use rather obvious symbolism. Dreams are, I suspect, a doorway into the collective subconscious of mankind, and while one might think me foolish for posting things that might reveal my hopes, fears, ambitions and weaknesses in such a public setting, at the same time, I feel compelled to offer them for reflection, if nothing else. A man who is honest with himself has nothing to fear. I shall ponder over these some more, I suspect...
Monday, December 22, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Fresh New Beats on al-Jazeera's 'Playlist'
Wow! So I was surfing the web, looking at various bands that I like and seeing what new music I could find when, by nothing more than sheer chance, I stumbled across some videos from Doha-based media outlet al-Jazeera's Playlist. Apparently, it's a music show that goes around the world finding fresh new sounds from different artists - they've got some great selections from the US, the Middle East, Britain, Europe, Africa and beyond. And alot of artists that I really like have been featured too! Dengue Fever, Balkan Beat Box, Rachid Taha, Gogol Bordello, Hanine y Son Cubano, Toumani Diabate, M.I.A., Akli D, Tony Hanna and the Yugoslav Brass Band, Justin Adams, Tinariwen, Soap Kills, the Chehade Brothers....
Man, I am in LOVE! And no, thats not a reference to anchorbabe Ghida Fakhry. I absolutely love it when I find stuff like this, because it gives me a whole bunch of new artists to explore and see what I might like or want to experiment with. Plus, it makes me feel so cutting edge... knowing about all the cool new music before all of my friends and associates, you know. Its like the good old days, when I would discover some really obscure random band who would become big later... This show is AWESOME, and so up my alley. Really pisses me off that it's so hard to get al-Jazeera out here in the Midwest. People have gone to GREAT LENGTHS to suppress it out here. But at least you can still watch it online, and for free nonetheless. Plus, there are a bunch of clips floating around on YouTube. Looks like the current show is focusing on some of the new talent coming out of South Africa (one of the powerhouses of African music, in fact).
Given that their selections mirror my taste in music pretty well, I think I am obligated to look up some of the other artists on their site. I get a feelingsome most of them would be right up my alley. Also, Michelle, if you are reading this, check it out. I know you like some of this music too (Gogo Bordello, Rachid Taha, M.I.A., Balkan Beat Box, Calexico, etc). I get a feeling this might be a good show to watch. Time for some internet surfing and sampling of bands on Amazon and iTunes....
Man, I am in LOVE! And no, thats not a reference to anchorbabe Ghida Fakhry. I absolutely love it when I find stuff like this, because it gives me a whole bunch of new artists to explore and see what I might like or want to experiment with. Plus, it makes me feel so cutting edge... knowing about all the cool new music before all of my friends and associates, you know. Its like the good old days, when I would discover some really obscure random band who would become big later... This show is AWESOME, and so up my alley. Really pisses me off that it's so hard to get al-Jazeera out here in the Midwest. People have gone to GREAT LENGTHS to suppress it out here. But at least you can still watch it online, and for free nonetheless. Plus, there are a bunch of clips floating around on YouTube. Looks like the current show is focusing on some of the new talent coming out of South Africa (one of the powerhouses of African music, in fact).
Given that their selections mirror my taste in music pretty well, I think I am obligated to look up some of the other artists on their site. I get a feeling
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Racism and Media Bias
No doubt some of you out there have eagerly been following the unfortunate incidents in Mumbai (formerly Bombay, for you colonials out there), perhaps even worried about friends, relatives and loved ones back in Bharat. For those not savvy on the incident, you can read up on it at BBC South Asia, The Deccan Herald, al-Jazeera English and/or MSNBC.
Now you know me. I'm practically in bed with the so-called 'Liberal Media,' but as the dust settles and question start getting asked, quite a few things about these attacks bother me. First of all, at least a couple hundred people are currently dead, and I expect that toll to rise a bit as the authorities start taking census of the carnage. Yet the media chooses to focus in solely on a couple of dead Americans, Brits and others. These murders are a tragedy, regardless of whom died. Yes, my heart goes out to my fellow Americans who died or lost loved ones. But I also feel empathy for the Britons who died, and the Australians, and the Israelis, and the Indians, and everyone else. How could I not? The vast majority of the people killed in these attacks were not tourists, though; they were local people just going about their daily lives, who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. It is a tragedy, and their lives are just as valuable as some European or American tourists.
Far more worrying than media bias, though, is the disturbing degree or organization on the part of the attackers. South Asia is no stranger to terrorism. But these attacks are different from, say, random car bombings in Kabul, the Tamil Tigers in Sri Lanka, or Maoist guerrillas in Nepal. For one, these attackers were highly disciplined, organized and trained, and armed to the teeth. They were more akin to professional soldiers than your typical terrorists. Who were they? Who trained them? Who were they working for? Those are the questions that need to be asked. The Indian government should have made it a top priority to try and take as many of them alive as they could, in order to interrogate them, because we (the international community) need to know these things. The fact that they could carry out such an organized attack on one of the world's largest and most important cities is bad. Very bad. The only way to stop future attacks is to find out who is supplying them, because nothing would prevent another cell from attacking, say, Calcutta, Madras, Goa, Hyderabad, Amritsar or Jaipur at the moment.
Both India and the US have wasted no time in pointing fingers at Pakistan, and while I cannot rule out involvement/backing by the ISI, there are no list of possible suspects in this crime. Russia, China, Iran, the EU, even the US... any country could have trained and backed these people. India is a rapidly expanding economic power. Indian goods are sold around the world. And, in contrast to every other Asian country, India actually has a single overseas military base (in Tajikistan), and could easily expand into other parts of Central, South and Southeast Asia. The attacks on Mumbai were meant to disrupt India's banking, economy, tourism and even Bollywood... it is part of an organized, well-planned terrorist attack. And there are no shortage governments that could have been behind it. Worse still, in this day and age, it is easy enough to find, and hire,private security contractors mercenaries. Even the US is employing some, like Blackwater and Triple Canopy, in Iraq. It is not inconceivable that a mercenary company somewhere could have trained these terrorists. That is why they need to be captured and interrogated.
Terrorism is bad for us, our allies, and the entire free world. Above all else, I am in favor of capitalism and free trade, spreading prosperity so that we don't have children starving to death in the streets. We have already seen what happens when elements in the US hijack our country to drive it to war, like in Afghanistan and Iraq. Yes, it might benefit a few individuals, but for you and I, it only makes things worse at the end of the day. How many Americans and Iraqis have died to help Halliburton's shareholders? That is not the American way! That is not FREEDOM and DEMOCRACY and CAPITALISM! Were it up to me, I would recommend sending American military, police, medics, mercenaries, security consultants, government agents and diplomats - anyone we can spare in both the government and private sector - to India immediately to help with the clean-up efforts. We cannot allow instability to take hold of the world's largest democracy, nor can we allow another ally to fall.
That's my two cents on the issue
Now you know me. I'm practically in bed with the so-called 'Liberal Media,' but as the dust settles and question start getting asked, quite a few things about these attacks bother me. First of all, at least a couple hundred people are currently dead, and I expect that toll to rise a bit as the authorities start taking census of the carnage. Yet the media chooses to focus in solely on a couple of dead Americans, Brits and others. These murders are a tragedy, regardless of whom died. Yes, my heart goes out to my fellow Americans who died or lost loved ones. But I also feel empathy for the Britons who died, and the Australians, and the Israelis, and the Indians, and everyone else. How could I not? The vast majority of the people killed in these attacks were not tourists, though; they were local people just going about their daily lives, who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. It is a tragedy, and their lives are just as valuable as some European or American tourists.
Far more worrying than media bias, though, is the disturbing degree or organization on the part of the attackers. South Asia is no stranger to terrorism. But these attacks are different from, say, random car bombings in Kabul, the Tamil Tigers in Sri Lanka, or Maoist guerrillas in Nepal. For one, these attackers were highly disciplined, organized and trained, and armed to the teeth. They were more akin to professional soldiers than your typical terrorists. Who were they? Who trained them? Who were they working for? Those are the questions that need to be asked. The Indian government should have made it a top priority to try and take as many of them alive as they could, in order to interrogate them, because we (the international community) need to know these things. The fact that they could carry out such an organized attack on one of the world's largest and most important cities is bad. Very bad. The only way to stop future attacks is to find out who is supplying them, because nothing would prevent another cell from attacking, say, Calcutta, Madras, Goa, Hyderabad, Amritsar or Jaipur at the moment.
Both India and the US have wasted no time in pointing fingers at Pakistan, and while I cannot rule out involvement/backing by the ISI, there are no list of possible suspects in this crime. Russia, China, Iran, the EU, even the US... any country could have trained and backed these people. India is a rapidly expanding economic power. Indian goods are sold around the world. And, in contrast to every other Asian country, India actually has a single overseas military base (in Tajikistan), and could easily expand into other parts of Central, South and Southeast Asia. The attacks on Mumbai were meant to disrupt India's banking, economy, tourism and even Bollywood... it is part of an organized, well-planned terrorist attack. And there are no shortage governments that could have been behind it. Worse still, in this day and age, it is easy enough to find, and hire,
Terrorism is bad for us, our allies, and the entire free world. Above all else, I am in favor of capitalism and free trade, spreading prosperity so that we don't have children starving to death in the streets. We have already seen what happens when elements in the US hijack our country to drive it to war, like in Afghanistan and Iraq. Yes, it might benefit a few individuals, but for you and I, it only makes things worse at the end of the day. How many Americans and Iraqis have died to help Halliburton's shareholders? That is not the American way! That is not FREEDOM and DEMOCRACY and CAPITALISM! Were it up to me, I would recommend sending American military, police, medics, mercenaries, security consultants, government agents and diplomats - anyone we can spare in both the government and private sector - to India immediately to help with the clean-up efforts. We cannot allow instability to take hold of the world's largest democracy, nor can we allow another ally to fall.
That's my two cents on the issue
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Breaking News: Somali Pirates to Acquire Citibank
DJIBOUTI - The Somali pirates, renegade Somalis known for hijacking ships for ransom in the Gulf of Aden, are negotiating a purchase of Citigroup.
The pirates would buy Citigroup with new debt and their existing cash stockpiles, earned most recently from hijacking numerous ships, including most recently a $200 million Saudi Arabian oil tanker. The Somali pirates are offering up to $0.10 per share for Citigroup, pirate spokesman Sugule Ali said earlier today.
The negotiations have entered the final stage. Ali stated, “You may not like our price, but we are not in the business of paying for things. Be happy we are in the mood to offer the shareholders anything at all.”
The pirates will finance part of the purchase by selling new Pirate Ransom Backed Securities. The PRBS’s are backed by future ransom payments from hijackings in the Gulf of Aden. Moody’s and S&P have already issued their top investment grade ratings for the PRBS’s.
Head pirate Ubu Kalid Shandu said, “We need a bank so that we have a place to keep all of our ransom money. Thankfully, the dislocations in the capital markets have allowed us to purchase Citigroup at an attractive valuation and to take advantage of TARP capital to grow the business even faster.”
Shandu added, “We don’t call ourselves pirates. We’re coast guards. This will just allow us to guard our coasts better.”
The pirates would buy Citigroup with new debt and their existing cash stockpiles, earned most recently from hijacking numerous ships, including most recently a $200 million Saudi Arabian oil tanker. The Somali pirates are offering up to $0.10 per share for Citigroup, pirate spokesman Sugule Ali said earlier today.
The negotiations have entered the final stage. Ali stated, “You may not like our price, but we are not in the business of paying for things. Be happy we are in the mood to offer the shareholders anything at all.”
The pirates will finance part of the purchase by selling new Pirate Ransom Backed Securities. The PRBS’s are backed by future ransom payments from hijackings in the Gulf of Aden. Moody’s and S&P have already issued their top investment grade ratings for the PRBS’s.
Head pirate Ubu Kalid Shandu said, “We need a bank so that we have a place to keep all of our ransom money. Thankfully, the dislocations in the capital markets have allowed us to purchase Citigroup at an attractive valuation and to take advantage of TARP capital to grow the business even faster.”
Shandu added, “We don’t call ourselves pirates. We’re coast guards. This will just allow us to guard our coasts better.”
Is That a Serpent In Your Pocket or Are You Just Happy to See Me?
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Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Reflections
Haven't posted in this blog in a while. Haven't really felt all that alive either. I hate the suburbs... actually, that's not true. There are parts of the 'burbs I like. The hot soccer MILFs for one. Free parking for another. But there's something out here that just sort of makes everyone feel... how shall I say this? Apathetic? It's as if people get caught in these dead ends and just kind of piss their lives away. And I feel the same thing happening to me. I have to get out of here and get on with my life.
At this point in my life, I'm far from where I want to be. And, quite frankly, I don't see it getting any better any time soon. I've been pushed into a career that isn't what I wanted, and I'm tied down by far too much. Money is nice, but I can feel my identity slipping away. It's not that I'm a different person than I was, say five or ten years ago. It's that my entire IDENTITY has had to be negotiated. That's not fun... it just kind of leaves you feeling numb in fact. Oh sure, I can change my appearance and personality at the drop of a hat, shifting through personas like some other people might change clothing. But deep down inside, I think I forget who I really am. If I really am, in fact. Without having some sort of interests, hobbies, something, I think I start to loose track of myself.
And that's just it. It's not that I can't dress the way I want to; outward appearance is nothing more than a social statement. It's that everything, down to my very beliefs, has been decided for me, and society only serves to enforce these unspeaken codes. Am I exaggerating? Probably, I have a dramatic flair for hyperbole. But think of it? How often have you held back your own personal opinions because of your parents, bosses, co-workers, spouses or, worse still, people you don't even know? How often have you chosen to dress in a specific way because you were told to? To eat foods you don't like, or go to events you could care less about?
The fact is that from a very early age, we are taught to subsume our own precious individuality and 'go with the flow.' It is this same sort of ignorant mentality which lead so many Germans to cooperate with the Nazis during World War II, because they simply accepted the attrocities of their government. They were 'just following orders'... We have seen this time after time, from Rwanda to Bhopal to 9-11. The Æons keep mankind shackled and ignorant, but it is as much our fault, for we have sacrificed that most human of all traits - Free Will!
Halloween sucked this year. I mean truly and honestly sucked. I'll spare you the details, both because I don't care and because it isn't important. What I realized is that other people, many of them younger (and happier) than myself, have not given up their identities. Part of it is the difference between people in the city, and people in the suburbs. People in the city have more freedom to express themselves and retain their ideals; here, people stagnate and become... content to waste their potential for greatness. The other part? Social life. Over the last couple of years, I've been a bad friend. I've neglected many... most of my friends. The fact is, I don't go out with them, I don't visit or hang out, I don't even call them. Even people I used to see every day of my life. And I'm sorry for that.
The fact is, I need to get out of the house more often, even if that leaves me with no sleep once in a while. Or no money for that matter. The fact is, there are people in this world who still, once in a while, manage to drag themselves out of bed and go out and do stuff with their lives... take classes, learn a new language, dancing, sky diving, trying new foods, reading books, going on vacations, seeing plays or movies, and I don't mean the latest Tom Cruise blockbuster. I mean those short run movies that play for a week or two, then you have to hope they show up later on DVD if you missed them. I have not been going to concerts, night clubs, bars, cultural festivals, BBQs, museums, art galleries, lectures or political rallies. And the world is a sadder place for it all.
To be honest, there are only really two paths I could go down. I could be petty and jealous, complaining about people who chose to be more... well interesting than I am. Or, I could join them. I'm done supressing my own beliefs and identity simply to appease some long dead old coot, and I hope you will join me.
Which would you rather be? One of those boring old people who sit at home all day, staring at the wall and wondering where your depth perception went, or a person who actually gets out there and does... SOMETHING! Take some classes, learn an art, develop some new skills, make friends. Just get off your bloody arse once in a while!
Ahhh... money. There's the rub. I wasted a good portion of yesterday resolving some... descrepencies on my bank statement. I'm getting my money back for the disputed charges, Praise Be to God, but it's still rather annoying. A cabal of thieves had gotten my credit card number, illegally, and were charging me. The clue? They started by charging small amounts, then went on to charge bigger amounts only minutes later. Although no much, $30-50 USD, it still adds up over time. I ultimately had to close my checking account and open a new one, which means everything is stalled. I have to get a new debit card... and the worst part? These charges all came from various aliases going back to a place called CCBill... It's a scam folks.
Now, I have no problem acknowledging I look at porn now and then. That's what the internet was made for, in fact, at least according to my latest conspiracy theory. But I sure as hell am not going to pay for charges that I never made, let alone two or three in a day. The way it works is that this site gets your card number, either you sign up for a site or through other means (including Amazon, by some accounts), and then they sign you up for a 'free trial,' after which they go on to rip you off. What they don't tell you is that they also will sign you up for OTHER sites, which then charge you after X number of days. To top it all of, they do not neccessarily send you an e-mail, nor do you have a password for these sites (which means you cannot easily cancel). And, if you try to cancel, they won't neccessarily take you off. And if they don't send you an e-mail confirming this, they will say that they cannot prove it (not true, by the way, since any e-mail leaves a record) and thus are not legally obliged to cancel.
In the end, you wind up paying money. YOUR money. And lots of it! You can read all about it at ripoffreport.com. Needless to say, it's a multi-million dollar business, all leading back to the slimy fingers of one Mr. Ron Cadwell of Tempe, AZ. He's a former chiropractor (another scam, by the way) and self-proclaimed 'porno king' of the internet. And where are the Feds on this S.O.B.? They won't touch his fat ass with a ten foot pole, not that I can blame them. He's probably bought them off. This is another example of American criminals victimizing other Americans, and the .gov choosing to 'look the other way.' Damn well makes me want to get all Jihad on his fat ass... speaking of which, I have his name, phone number, address and personal information. Managed to track that down, but I'm not sure what prank would be funniest. Suggestions welcome.
I've decided to dip into my travel funds a bit. Originally, I had hoped to go overseas sometime soon, but various things have made that a virtual impossibility for the time being. Since the future is not yet born, who cares? I've got money, so I may as well waste it on things that I like. There are alot of straight-to-DVD bad horror movies, the rest of the 8 Films to Die For from last year, more Deathnote stuff, and of course Doctor Who. Not to mention games, whether electronic or table top. And even a few odd toys here and there to keep my attention for some time. Maybe even get a new scorpion, or some sort of poisonous sea creature... I think I have space in my room for an aquarium. And if not, then I suppose I shall have to make space for it.
What about concerts? To be honest, I'm not sure at the moment. I said before I want to get out and, well do stuff. Southeast Asia Night was great. A sort of ironic turn of events, actually. I had hoped to go up to Toronto for the Emilie Autumn concert, but I never got my tickets. I'm still out money on that, by the way, and I'm not sure whether the guy who sold them never sent them or the .gov simply chose to confiscate my mail (yet again). I still have a number of parcels which have yet to reach me, including some from points of origin now designated as the 'Axis of Evil' by our (former) President. In fact, I haven't heard from my contact in the West Bank for many moons.
I have a new winter coat, and look forward to the first snows. I also DID get my Sonic Screwdriver. Hooray for British Doctor Who toys! I suppose that means I can at least count on packages from the U.K., thank God, since a significant portion of my mail comes from there.
At this point in my life, I'm far from where I want to be. And, quite frankly, I don't see it getting any better any time soon. I've been pushed into a career that isn't what I wanted, and I'm tied down by far too much. Money is nice, but I can feel my identity slipping away. It's not that I'm a different person than I was, say five or ten years ago. It's that my entire IDENTITY has had to be negotiated. That's not fun... it just kind of leaves you feeling numb in fact. Oh sure, I can change my appearance and personality at the drop of a hat, shifting through personas like some other people might change clothing. But deep down inside, I think I forget who I really am. If I really am, in fact. Without having some sort of interests, hobbies, something, I think I start to loose track of myself.
And that's just it. It's not that I can't dress the way I want to; outward appearance is nothing more than a social statement. It's that everything, down to my very beliefs, has been decided for me, and society only serves to enforce these unspeaken codes. Am I exaggerating? Probably, I have a dramatic flair for hyperbole. But think of it? How often have you held back your own personal opinions because of your parents, bosses, co-workers, spouses or, worse still, people you don't even know? How often have you chosen to dress in a specific way because you were told to? To eat foods you don't like, or go to events you could care less about?
The fact is that from a very early age, we are taught to subsume our own precious individuality and 'go with the flow.' It is this same sort of ignorant mentality which lead so many Germans to cooperate with the Nazis during World War II, because they simply accepted the attrocities of their government. They were 'just following orders'... We have seen this time after time, from Rwanda to Bhopal to 9-11. The Æons keep mankind shackled and ignorant, but it is as much our fault, for we have sacrificed that most human of all traits - Free Will!
VIII. of Wands, Reversed
Halloween sucked this year. I mean truly and honestly sucked. I'll spare you the details, both because I don't care and because it isn't important. What I realized is that other people, many of them younger (and happier) than myself, have not given up their identities. Part of it is the difference between people in the city, and people in the suburbs. People in the city have more freedom to express themselves and retain their ideals; here, people stagnate and become... content to waste their potential for greatness. The other part? Social life. Over the last couple of years, I've been a bad friend. I've neglected many... most of my friends. The fact is, I don't go out with them, I don't visit or hang out, I don't even call them. Even people I used to see every day of my life. And I'm sorry for that.
The fact is, I need to get out of the house more often, even if that leaves me with no sleep once in a while. Or no money for that matter. The fact is, there are people in this world who still, once in a while, manage to drag themselves out of bed and go out and do stuff with their lives... take classes, learn a new language, dancing, sky diving, trying new foods, reading books, going on vacations, seeing plays or movies, and I don't mean the latest Tom Cruise blockbuster. I mean those short run movies that play for a week or two, then you have to hope they show up later on DVD if you missed them. I have not been going to concerts, night clubs, bars, cultural festivals, BBQs, museums, art galleries, lectures or political rallies. And the world is a sadder place for it all.
To be honest, there are only really two paths I could go down. I could be petty and jealous, complaining about people who chose to be more... well interesting than I am. Or, I could join them. I'm done supressing my own beliefs and identity simply to appease some long dead old coot, and I hope you will join me.
Which would you rather be? One of those boring old people who sit at home all day, staring at the wall and wondering where your depth perception went, or a person who actually gets out there and does... SOMETHING! Take some classes, learn an art, develop some new skills, make friends. Just get off your bloody arse once in a while!
Ahhh... money. There's the rub. I wasted a good portion of yesterday resolving some... descrepencies on my bank statement. I'm getting my money back for the disputed charges, Praise Be to God, but it's still rather annoying. A cabal of thieves had gotten my credit card number, illegally, and were charging me. The clue? They started by charging small amounts, then went on to charge bigger amounts only minutes later. Although no much, $30-50 USD, it still adds up over time. I ultimately had to close my checking account and open a new one, which means everything is stalled. I have to get a new debit card... and the worst part? These charges all came from various aliases going back to a place called CCBill... It's a scam folks.
Now, I have no problem acknowledging I look at porn now and then. That's what the internet was made for, in fact, at least according to my latest conspiracy theory. But I sure as hell am not going to pay for charges that I never made, let alone two or three in a day. The way it works is that this site gets your card number, either you sign up for a site or through other means (including Amazon, by some accounts), and then they sign you up for a 'free trial,' after which they go on to rip you off. What they don't tell you is that they also will sign you up for OTHER sites, which then charge you after X number of days. To top it all of, they do not neccessarily send you an e-mail, nor do you have a password for these sites (which means you cannot easily cancel). And, if you try to cancel, they won't neccessarily take you off. And if they don't send you an e-mail confirming this, they will say that they cannot prove it (not true, by the way, since any e-mail leaves a record) and thus are not legally obliged to cancel.
In the end, you wind up paying money. YOUR money. And lots of it! You can read all about it at ripoffreport.com. Needless to say, it's a multi-million dollar business, all leading back to the slimy fingers of one Mr. Ron Cadwell of Tempe, AZ. He's a former chiropractor (another scam, by the way) and self-proclaimed 'porno king' of the internet. And where are the Feds on this S.O.B.? They won't touch his fat ass with a ten foot pole, not that I can blame them. He's probably bought them off. This is another example of American criminals victimizing other Americans, and the .gov choosing to 'look the other way.' Damn well makes me want to get all Jihad on his fat ass... speaking of which, I have his name, phone number, address and personal information. Managed to track that down, but I'm not sure what prank would be funniest. Suggestions welcome.
I've decided to dip into my travel funds a bit. Originally, I had hoped to go overseas sometime soon, but various things have made that a virtual impossibility for the time being. Since the future is not yet born, who cares? I've got money, so I may as well waste it on things that I like. There are alot of straight-to-DVD bad horror movies, the rest of the 8 Films to Die For from last year, more Deathnote stuff, and of course Doctor Who. Not to mention games, whether electronic or table top. And even a few odd toys here and there to keep my attention for some time. Maybe even get a new scorpion, or some sort of poisonous sea creature... I think I have space in my room for an aquarium. And if not, then I suppose I shall have to make space for it.
What about concerts? To be honest, I'm not sure at the moment. I said before I want to get out and, well do stuff. Southeast Asia Night was great. A sort of ironic turn of events, actually. I had hoped to go up to Toronto for the Emilie Autumn concert, but I never got my tickets. I'm still out money on that, by the way, and I'm not sure whether the guy who sold them never sent them or the .gov simply chose to confiscate my mail (yet again). I still have a number of parcels which have yet to reach me, including some from points of origin now designated as the 'Axis of Evil' by our (former) President. In fact, I haven't heard from my contact in the West Bank for many moons.
I have a new winter coat, and look forward to the first snows. I also DID get my Sonic Screwdriver. Hooray for British Doctor Who toys! I suppose that means I can at least count on packages from the U.K., thank God, since a significant portion of my mail comes from there.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Pleased to Meet You, I'm a Goonch
Came across a report from The Sun about giant mutant fish terrorizing Nepal.
Turns out this gigantic aquatic monster is, in fact, no 'mutant' but rather a little known fish known as the 'giant goonch'. Tipping the scales at 200 lbs or so, the goonch is a catfish, probably one of the largest catfish in South Asia. They can be found in the Himalayan waters around India, Nepal and the like.
Appearantly, and bearing in mind that this is colored as much by rumor and folklore (rural legends if you will) as actual 'science,' the story goes that goonch got a taste for human flesh by munching on charred corpses floating downstream. This part of the story requires a bit of clarification, but suffice to say that as in many Hindu countries, cremation is the preferred funerary practice. Unfortunately, not everyone can afford a real cremation, so especially in the poorest of rural villages, you get alot of partially cremated bodies sent down the Ganges, Indus and Brahmaputra.
For fish, this is a free meal. The Ganges river shark (Glyphis gangeticus) and bull shark (Carcharhinus leucas) are both known to take advantage of this, and it is also rumored crocodilians and tigers will if they opportunity presents itself. The goonch seems to be acquiring a taste for human flesh in this manner and, if the rumors are to be believed, move on to trying a live human. Then again, it could be alot of things. The subcontinent has no shortage of man-eaters... at least a dozen species have allegedly attacked humans (tigers, crocodilians, bull sharks, wolves, dholes, Burmese pythons, Asiatic lions, sloth bears, etc). Some of those cliams are more dubious than others, for what it's worth.
Incidentally, this is not the first time that sloppy funerary rites have caused problems. The most infamous being the man-eaters of Tsavo in the early 20th century. About 135 or so Indian laborers brought over by the British to work the railroads (and local Africans) were killed by the two lions, whom it is believed acquired the taste for human flesh after scavenging from the Indian laborers' make-shift cremation grounds. An interesting Chicago connection there, the two lions wound up at the Field Museum after being sold there by John Henry Patterson himself. I should know; I've seen them quite often! Aside from the man-eaters of Tsavo, Patterson was also head game warden in British East Africa, fought in the Boer War and a champion of early Jewish settlement in Palestine (even joining the Jewish Legion of the British Army, which would later become the IDF).
I've been meaning to read his other books for a while now, but never got around to it. Maybe I'll rummage through the library tomorrow and see what I can dig up.
But... while on the subject of giant Asian fish, I'm also reminded of the giant Mekong Delta catfish (Pangasianodon gigas). It is the world's largest fresh-water fish. Dekila Chungyalpa of the World Wild Fund for Nature reported a 9 foot, 646 pound specimen in her study of sustainable development in the region. No doubt those of you who watch Monsterquest regularly will remember that (she was one of the people interviewed on the 'giant fish' episode).
Ah, but alas, we have no such creatures nature to these climes, unfortunately. Nonetheless, we are fortunate enough to have some DAMNED big fish all the same. Say hello to the alligator gar, or as he is more formally known, Atractosteus spatula. Found throughout the Southeastern U.S., the alligator gar ranges from ten to twelve feet, and usually weighs a couple hundred pounds. In a rather Jonah-esque twist, the Cherokee (who know the fish by the name dakwa) have a myth of a brave in the Tennessee valley who was swallowed alive by one only to have cut himself out of it's belly.
I SOOO want to set up an aquarium and get some cool fish or marine animals... actually, screw that. I want to get an indoor pool, suitably modified for larger sea creatures. Now THAT would be cool! Sharks, octopi, giant squid, sting rays, crocodiles, eels... you name it.
Turns out this gigantic aquatic monster is, in fact, no 'mutant' but rather a little known fish known as the 'giant goonch'. Tipping the scales at 200 lbs or so, the goonch is a catfish, probably one of the largest catfish in South Asia. They can be found in the Himalayan waters around India, Nepal and the like.
Appearantly, and bearing in mind that this is colored as much by rumor and folklore (rural legends if you will) as actual 'science,' the story goes that goonch got a taste for human flesh by munching on charred corpses floating downstream. This part of the story requires a bit of clarification, but suffice to say that as in many Hindu countries, cremation is the preferred funerary practice. Unfortunately, not everyone can afford a real cremation, so especially in the poorest of rural villages, you get alot of partially cremated bodies sent down the Ganges, Indus and Brahmaputra.
For fish, this is a free meal. The Ganges river shark (Glyphis gangeticus) and bull shark (Carcharhinus leucas) are both known to take advantage of this, and it is also rumored crocodilians and tigers will if they opportunity presents itself. The goonch seems to be acquiring a taste for human flesh in this manner and, if the rumors are to be believed, move on to trying a live human. Then again, it could be alot of things. The subcontinent has no shortage of man-eaters... at least a dozen species have allegedly attacked humans (tigers, crocodilians, bull sharks, wolves, dholes, Burmese pythons, Asiatic lions, sloth bears, etc). Some of those cliams are more dubious than others, for what it's worth.
Incidentally, this is not the first time that sloppy funerary rites have caused problems. The most infamous being the man-eaters of Tsavo in the early 20th century. About 135 or so Indian laborers brought over by the British to work the railroads (and local Africans) were killed by the two lions, whom it is believed acquired the taste for human flesh after scavenging from the Indian laborers' make-shift cremation grounds. An interesting Chicago connection there, the two lions wound up at the Field Museum after being sold there by John Henry Patterson himself. I should know; I've seen them quite often! Aside from the man-eaters of Tsavo, Patterson was also head game warden in British East Africa, fought in the Boer War and a champion of early Jewish settlement in Palestine (even joining the Jewish Legion of the British Army, which would later become the IDF).
I've been meaning to read his other books for a while now, but never got around to it. Maybe I'll rummage through the library tomorrow and see what I can dig up.
But... while on the subject of giant Asian fish, I'm also reminded of the giant Mekong Delta catfish (Pangasianodon gigas). It is the world's largest fresh-water fish. Dekila Chungyalpa of the World Wild Fund for Nature reported a 9 foot, 646 pound specimen in her study of sustainable development in the region. No doubt those of you who watch Monsterquest regularly will remember that (she was one of the people interviewed on the 'giant fish' episode).
Ah, but alas, we have no such creatures nature to these climes, unfortunately. Nonetheless, we are fortunate enough to have some DAMNED big fish all the same. Say hello to the alligator gar, or as he is more formally known, Atractosteus spatula. Found throughout the Southeastern U.S., the alligator gar ranges from ten to twelve feet, and usually weighs a couple hundred pounds. In a rather Jonah-esque twist, the Cherokee (who know the fish by the name dakwa) have a myth of a brave in the Tennessee valley who was swallowed alive by one only to have cut himself out of it's belly.
I SOOO want to set up an aquarium and get some cool fish or marine animals... actually, screw that. I want to get an indoor pool, suitably modified for larger sea creatures. Now THAT would be cool! Sharks, octopi, giant squid, sting rays, crocodiles, eels... you name it.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Fortune Presents Gifts Not According to the Book
Oh what a wild week it has been my friends, a wild week indeed. After getting through a hectic list of chores and assignments, I'm finally free. Turns out my paper for my Paleontology (moar liek Palin-tology, amirite?) class went over better than I expected. I don't know whether I should be amazed or thankful, but my teacher said that it was very well written. I guess those many hours of sleep (and, for that matter, eating) that I sacrificed for that were worth it then. I was so afraid that I wouldn't do well, or that I was missing some huge point, but I guess not. Good news for me.
Still have to find time for... well, everything else now. I need to watch some of my movies and TV shows, which I still haven't done, catch up on a little reading. Maybe even make a new tape for my car. I'm also running low on monies, which sucks, but then with the economy being what it is, I'm by no means surprised. I suppose I'll wind up moving to one of the BRIMC(S)... within the next 50 years those will be the biggest economies in the world anyway.
But, this weekend will be a time for relaxing and celebration. And crazy horror movies, but I think thats a given, obviously... And episode of Primeval has an Australopithecus boisei running around, well, now I know more about their anatomy, evolution and dietary adaptations than I ever thought possible. So I guess I could write a 10-page blog critiquing their recreation or something...
Still, it would be very sweet to get an Australopithecus boisei (or robustus, or aethiopicus) as a pet. That'd be kick ass! I mean, come on, look at those jaws!
Still have to find time for... well, everything else now. I need to watch some of my movies and TV shows, which I still haven't done, catch up on a little reading. Maybe even make a new tape for my car. I'm also running low on monies, which sucks, but then with the economy being what it is, I'm by no means surprised. I suppose I'll wind up moving to one of the BRIMC(S)... within the next 50 years those will be the biggest economies in the world anyway.
But, this weekend will be a time for relaxing and celebration. And crazy horror movies, but I think thats a given, obviously... And episode of Primeval has an Australopithecus boisei running around, well, now I know more about their anatomy, evolution and dietary adaptations than I ever thought possible. So I guess I could write a 10-page blog critiquing their recreation or something...
Still, it would be very sweet to get an Australopithecus boisei (or robustus, or aethiopicus) as a pet. That'd be kick ass! I mean, come on, look at those jaws!
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Tiger Phone Card
Lyrics by Zac Holtzman and Dengue Fever
Zac Holtzman: You live in Phnom Penh
Chhom Nimol: You live in New York City
Together:
But I think about you so so so so
So much I forget to eat
Zac Holtzman: It’s 4 am I check my email
Chhom Nimol: I’m too geared up to fall asleep
Together:
So I write you back and count the days until we’ll be together
Chhom Nimol: The first thing that I’ll do
Is
Together:
Throw my arms around you
Zac Holtzman: And never let go
Chhom Nimol: And never let go
Zac Holtzman: I call you from my hotel room
I’m sitting on the hallway floor
I know that we are so
So so
So tired my phone card just expired
Chhom Nimol:
You only call me when you’re drunk
I can tell it by your voice
It’s the only time that you
Open up to me and tell me that you love me
The first thing that I’ll do
Is
Together:
Throw my arms around you
Zac Holtzman: And never let go
Chhom Nimol: And never let go
Zac Holtzman: I’m thirty-thousand feet high
Flying through the dead of night
I took an Ambien and you came to visit me in my dreams.
Chhom Nimol: You were bathed in blue light
Floating right in front of me
Your face was so
So so
So bright I had to close my eyes to see
The first thing that I’ll do
Is
Together:
Throw my arms around you
Zac Holtzman: And never let go
Chhom Nimol: And never let go
Together:
Never let go oh oh
Never let go oh oh
Never let go oh oh
Never let go oh oh
Never let go oh oh
I Need to Sleep
What a crazy week this has been. Between school and... well, more school, I've been running all over the place. Luckily, I managed to finish all of my papers, get to my debate and to make it to the Burma Studies Conference this weekend. Unfortunately, my sleep cycle is now shot to hell. I've been sleeping erratically all week. That's erratically, not erotically... completely different context there.
With any luck, I won't have to talk about lateral abductor mechanisms in A. afarensis again for quite a while.
So after my test on Monday, I will be able to relax and enjoy the rest of my week. At least until it gets to the point where five hundred or so things all pile up at once again, as things are sure to do just because the Gods enjoy tormenting us lowly mortals. Oh come on... Didn't anyone out there ever read Homer's Ὀδύσσεια? One of my favorite books growing up... I always thought Odysseus was one of the coolest heroes.
Incidentally, for those of you already familiar with Greek and Roman culture, you probably won't be surprised to know that Odysseus was known to the ancient Etruscan civilization of Italy as well (as Uthuze). Just thought I'd throw that out there, cause the Etruscans don't get alot of love over here.
I've gotta thank Michelle for bringing over the Office and the last few episodes of Chuck so that I'm now all caught up with that. Now I've just gotta catch up on Heroes and I'll be good.
Also, Noureen deWulf made a cameo as a spy/pita delivery girl, which was awesome, since I don't think I've seen her in anything since 'American Dreamz' (which, admittedly, was a pretty cheesy movie).
A google search turned up images of her and Kim Kardashian (who appearantly got voted off 'Dancing with the Stars' this season before I could see it; what a pity) at the Maxim Awards.
Personally, I find Maxim and those sort of magazines to be a little trashy, though. Me, I'd much rather be reading trashy pulp novels with burly, square chinned, bare fisted adventurer-scientists who pounce off to darkest Africa or exotic India, find lost civilizations and relics, make love to beautiful women and fight against the Nazis (or Commies, or whoever the generic villian of the week is these days). Does anyone else remember that genere? I've got a whole book full of the covers of those, and let me just say, wow!
WEASELS RIPPED MY FLESH! Actually... I think the thing on his shoulder is maybe a muskrat or something, but I rest my case. Those pulp adventure stories were really something else... animal attacks, head hunters, 1950's super-science, lost civilizations, sultry naked women.
Well, that or trashy books about bigfoot, UFOs and global conspiracies. Either is good by me.
But, back onto the subject of hot Asian chicks, Navi Rawat is appearantly reprising her role as 'the Heroine' in the straight to DVD sequel to 'Feast', appropriately enough called 'Feast II: Sloppy Seconds.' Comes out this Tuesday, and I'm quite excited about that. I'm also baffled, since her character (and, actually, several of the others) all got eaten in the first movie, but whatever. Knowing almost nothing about it beyond the fact that it features the monsters attacking a small town in the middle of nowhere, I fully plan on buying it. The first movie freakin' blew me away, so I expect great things from the sequel. This means movie night, folks.
And, on that same subject, I'm also looking forward to the (eventual) release of Cryptid, which may or may not be released under a different name. I've found very little about this movie, beyond that it stars Lori Petty, Sandra Teles and Petey Pablo, and is about 'bigfoot in South Africa.' Presumably it was inspired by both Zulu stories about the Tokoloshe and archaeological evidence about Australopithecines, which ironically brings us full circle.
Between 'Feast II,' 'Vipers' (the newest movie in the Maneaters series) and Dario Argento's 'La Terza Madre,' I'm going to have quite a few good horror flicks for this Halloween. Go me!
With any luck, I won't have to talk about lateral abductor mechanisms in A. afarensis again for quite a while.
So after my test on Monday, I will be able to relax and enjoy the rest of my week. At least until it gets to the point where five hundred or so things all pile up at once again, as things are sure to do just because the Gods enjoy tormenting us lowly mortals. Oh come on... Didn't anyone out there ever read Homer's Ὀδύσσεια? One of my favorite books growing up... I always thought Odysseus was one of the coolest heroes.
Incidentally, for those of you already familiar with Greek and Roman culture, you probably won't be surprised to know that Odysseus was known to the ancient Etruscan civilization of Italy as well (as Uthuze). Just thought I'd throw that out there, cause the Etruscans don't get alot of love over here.
I've gotta thank Michelle for bringing over the Office and the last few episodes of Chuck so that I'm now all caught up with that. Now I've just gotta catch up on Heroes and I'll be good.
Also, Noureen deWulf made a cameo as a spy/pita delivery girl, which was awesome, since I don't think I've seen her in anything since 'American Dreamz' (which, admittedly, was a pretty cheesy movie).
A google search turned up images of her and Kim Kardashian (who appearantly got voted off 'Dancing with the Stars' this season before I could see it; what a pity) at the Maxim Awards.
Personally, I find Maxim and those sort of magazines to be a little trashy, though. Me, I'd much rather be reading trashy pulp novels with burly, square chinned, bare fisted adventurer-scientists who pounce off to darkest Africa or exotic India, find lost civilizations and relics, make love to beautiful women and fight against the Nazis (or Commies, or whoever the generic villian of the week is these days). Does anyone else remember that genere? I've got a whole book full of the covers of those, and let me just say, wow!
WEASELS RIPPED MY FLESH! Actually... I think the thing on his shoulder is maybe a muskrat or something, but I rest my case. Those pulp adventure stories were really something else... animal attacks, head hunters, 1950's super-science, lost civilizations, sultry naked women.
Well, that or trashy books about bigfoot, UFOs and global conspiracies. Either is good by me.
But, back onto the subject of hot Asian chicks, Navi Rawat is appearantly reprising her role as 'the Heroine' in the straight to DVD sequel to 'Feast', appropriately enough called 'Feast II: Sloppy Seconds.' Comes out this Tuesday, and I'm quite excited about that. I'm also baffled, since her character (and, actually, several of the others) all got eaten in the first movie, but whatever. Knowing almost nothing about it beyond the fact that it features the monsters attacking a small town in the middle of nowhere, I fully plan on buying it. The first movie freakin' blew me away, so I expect great things from the sequel. This means movie night, folks.
And, on that same subject, I'm also looking forward to the (eventual) release of Cryptid, which may or may not be released under a different name. I've found very little about this movie, beyond that it stars Lori Petty, Sandra Teles and Petey Pablo, and is about 'bigfoot in South Africa.' Presumably it was inspired by both Zulu stories about the Tokoloshe and archaeological evidence about Australopithecines, which ironically brings us full circle.
Between 'Feast II,' 'Vipers' (the newest movie in the Maneaters series) and Dario Argento's 'La Terza Madre,' I'm going to have quite a few good horror flicks for this Halloween. Go me!
Friday, October 3, 2008
Just When You Think Humanity Can't Get Any Lower...
Man, this is disturbing. Latest out of Australia claims that a seven year old boy went on a killing spree at an animal center. Appearantly, he hopped over a fence at the Alice Springs Reptile Center and proceded to bludgeon 13 animals to death (several endangered species) and feed others to the crocodile. He also tried, unsuccessfully, to get into the crocodile exhibit. Personally, if you ask me, it's a pity he didn't because no matter how psychotic he is, a crocodile will tear a seven year old human to bits every time.
Look... I'm not some hard core environmentalist nut, but this kid... Wow! Not only did he get into the exhibit, but he knew enough to avoid alarms, and was smiling the whole time. His violence towards animals suggests a form of sociopathy, but what disturbs me more is that he was subtle enough not to get caught for HALF AN HOUR! A couple things bug me there; shouldn't there have been a security guard or curator to stop him? It's not that hard to overpower someone that small. But moreover, what about his parents? Did they just let him go wild? Creepy, huh? Mark my words, this kid has all the makings of a future serial killer.
The Zoo is, thankfully, suing the parents, and quite frankly I hope they take them for every red cent that they are worth, because the Aussies are too sissy to prosecute minors it seems. Thats a big mistake. I've noticed the media hasn't released his name or much on him; courts probably won't let them either. This is a huge problem, because this kid is displaying all the signs of a psychopath. He won't be stopped, put in a facility or given treatment, I can garuntee you, and the parents probably will bend over backwards to protect the little monster.
I'm telling you, the best possible fate here would have been if the crocodile ate this son of a bitch, or if he got bit by one of their venomous snakes... death adder or taipan or brown snake. Something like that. Because ten, twenty years down the road, this very same kid is going to be a violent, socially maladjusted adult, and he will have moved on from small animals to people.
Look... I'm not some hard core environmentalist nut, but this kid... Wow! Not only did he get into the exhibit, but he knew enough to avoid alarms, and was smiling the whole time. His violence towards animals suggests a form of sociopathy, but what disturbs me more is that he was subtle enough not to get caught for HALF AN HOUR! A couple things bug me there; shouldn't there have been a security guard or curator to stop him? It's not that hard to overpower someone that small. But moreover, what about his parents? Did they just let him go wild? Creepy, huh? Mark my words, this kid has all the makings of a future serial killer.
The Zoo is, thankfully, suing the parents, and quite frankly I hope they take them for every red cent that they are worth, because the Aussies are too sissy to prosecute minors it seems. Thats a big mistake. I've noticed the media hasn't released his name or much on him; courts probably won't let them either. This is a huge problem, because this kid is displaying all the signs of a psychopath. He won't be stopped, put in a facility or given treatment, I can garuntee you, and the parents probably will bend over backwards to protect the little monster.
I'm telling you, the best possible fate here would have been if the crocodile ate this son of a bitch, or if he got bit by one of their venomous snakes... death adder or taipan or brown snake. Something like that. Because ten, twenty years down the road, this very same kid is going to be a violent, socially maladjusted adult, and he will have moved on from small animals to people.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Causes for ConCERN
To be honest, I never expected to be posting this blog. To be honest, I never expected to make it this far. I kind of figured that CERN creating a miniature black hole would cause the end of the world, or at the very least make it so we we're living in some sort of post-apocalyptic Mad Max type scenario. You know, just to spite me and all. Hell, I was even willing to entertain the notion that time and space would break down and prehistoric monsters would rampage through the streets.
But no... CERN has come and gone and nothing. Not even some sort of vaguely ominous clouds, or dramatic music, or anything like that.
Go figure.
Between my Burmese class and my Paleontology class, I've been kept fairly busy. Actually, in the course of doing research for my paper, I've found theres quite a bit of overlap between Burma and the Indian subcontinent... over in Nagaland, Assam, Manipur, the Chittagong Hill Tracts. That part of the world. Especially when you get into the British Colonial period. Burmese expansion into the west is largely what provoked the Anglo-Burmese Wars! Of course, by 1824 the British Empire controlled all of Burma...
But I'm kind of burned out on that for the moment, as fun as it is to talk about head hunters and dacoity.
I've also been thinking I want to get some sort of crazy new animal, especially if it was something that I could freely allow to roam around my room. Ever heard of giant coconut crabs (Birgus latro)? Biggest land arthropod in the world, weighing some 10 pounds or so and with a leg span of three feet! They live pretty much all through the Pacific and Indian Ocean, from about say... Tahiti all the way west to Madagascar, and on most of the islands. Its pretty much a scaled up hermit crab. They also apparently have a thing about stealing silverware. How lulzy is that? It seems that the Okinawans even keep them as pets, which sounds about right for the Japanese.
I SO want to get one.
I also caught a frog the other day. In a shoe box, in fact. Named him 'hoppy' in honor of the episode of Monk that was on that day. Turns out the flooding is really great for wildlife. Worms, water bugs, frogs, shrews, turtles, all sorts of stuff.
Also looks like Uzbek journalista and activist Umida Niazova was in the news again, being honored with an award from Human Rights Watch International for her work. It seems that what I've heard about reporters who become stories having a hard time getting out of the spotlight is true. Then again, her whole trial was a political thing, really. I've found myself reading alot more Uzbek and Welsh news media lately, especially when I'm waiting around between classes.
Of course, BBC (or, the Beeb, as those in the know call it) is fun in general. I'm absolutely in love with the show Primeval, which some of my friends in other parts of the Anglophone world had known about for years anyway. I WISH we had dinosaurs and other prehistoric creatures roaming about through the streets... how awesome would that be to bring, say, a family of Australopithecines to my Paleontology class? I work under the assumption A. boisei would help me study for class.
Not going to Chicago World Music fest this year... Really, its alot of things. I don't have the money, most of my time is getting wasted on other things, and to be honest I disdain being associated with a crowd of uncouth pseudo-intellectual yuppies who don't appreciate the fine art of the maqam. I know for a fact I can't make tonight's show featuring Mamek Khadem and Gaida Hinnawi, which was pretty much the only thing I even wanted to bother seeing in the first place, and I suspect I won't go see Gaida Hinnawi's performance tomorrow with Amir el Saffar.
EDIT: Screw wallowing in self-pity. Screw all ther drama and feeling sorry for oneself and the pathetic whining. Yeah, it sucks that I didn't get to go to Chicago World Music Festival this year. Alot, but I can't sit around crying over the past. It's done and gone, so no more. There will be other shows, other artists, other places to go and things to do. Gaida Hinnawi has an upcoming show at the Arab American National Museum and Mamek Khadem... well, there aren't really any good venues for Persian art/culture here in the Midwest, beyond maybe the Iran House of Greater Chicagoland. But whatever. Live and learn.
And yes, the new episode of Primeval did rock, thank you very much!
But no... CERN has come and gone and nothing. Not even some sort of vaguely ominous clouds, or dramatic music, or anything like that.
Go figure.
Between my Burmese class and my Paleontology class, I've been kept fairly busy. Actually, in the course of doing research for my paper, I've found theres quite a bit of overlap between Burma and the Indian subcontinent... over in Nagaland, Assam, Manipur, the Chittagong Hill Tracts. That part of the world. Especially when you get into the British Colonial period. Burmese expansion into the west is largely what provoked the Anglo-Burmese Wars! Of course, by 1824 the British Empire controlled all of Burma...
But I'm kind of burned out on that for the moment, as fun as it is to talk about head hunters and dacoity.
I've also been thinking I want to get some sort of crazy new animal, especially if it was something that I could freely allow to roam around my room. Ever heard of giant coconut crabs (Birgus latro)? Biggest land arthropod in the world, weighing some 10 pounds or so and with a leg span of three feet! They live pretty much all through the Pacific and Indian Ocean, from about say... Tahiti all the way west to Madagascar, and on most of the islands. Its pretty much a scaled up hermit crab. They also apparently have a thing about stealing silverware. How lulzy is that? It seems that the Okinawans even keep them as pets, which sounds about right for the Japanese.
I SO want to get one.
I also caught a frog the other day. In a shoe box, in fact. Named him 'hoppy' in honor of the episode of Monk that was on that day. Turns out the flooding is really great for wildlife. Worms, water bugs, frogs, shrews, turtles, all sorts of stuff.
Also looks like Uzbek journalista and activist Umida Niazova was in the news again, being honored with an award from Human Rights Watch International for her work. It seems that what I've heard about reporters who become stories having a hard time getting out of the spotlight is true. Then again, her whole trial was a political thing, really. I've found myself reading alot more Uzbek and Welsh news media lately, especially when I'm waiting around between classes.
Of course, BBC (or, the Beeb, as those in the know call it) is fun in general. I'm absolutely in love with the show Primeval, which some of my friends in other parts of the Anglophone world had known about for years anyway. I WISH we had dinosaurs and other prehistoric creatures roaming about through the streets... how awesome would that be to bring, say, a family of Australopithecines to my Paleontology class? I work under the assumption A. boisei would help me study for class.
Not going to Chicago World Music fest this year... Really, its alot of things. I don't have the money, most of my time is getting wasted on other things, and to be honest I disdain being associated with a crowd of uncouth pseudo-intellectual yuppies who don't appreciate the fine art of the maqam. I know for a fact I can't make tonight's show featuring Mamek Khadem and Gaida Hinnawi, which was pretty much the only thing I even wanted to bother seeing in the first place, and I suspect I won't go see Gaida Hinnawi's performance tomorrow with Amir el Saffar.
EDIT: Screw wallowing in self-pity. Screw all ther drama and feeling sorry for oneself and the pathetic whining. Yeah, it sucks that I didn't get to go to Chicago World Music Festival this year. Alot, but I can't sit around crying over the past. It's done and gone, so no more. There will be other shows, other artists, other places to go and things to do. Gaida Hinnawi has an upcoming show at the Arab American National Museum and Mamek Khadem... well, there aren't really any good venues for Persian art/culture here in the Midwest, beyond maybe the Iran House of Greater Chicagoland. But whatever. Live and learn.
And yes, the new episode of Primeval did rock, thank you very much!
Friday, September 5, 2008
Islam Unplugged
Ramadan Mubarak, y'all. Today I'm going to take a break from politics for a moment to focus on culture, art and other civilized pursuits. Coincidentally, or perhaps not, this month coincides with a number of great musical releases.
Putumayo Presents Acoustic Arabia
Following up on their earlier 'From Cairo to Casablanca,' 'Arabic Groove' and 'Sahara Lounge' releases, world music label Putumayo has collected together acoustic tracks (some thus far unreleased) from Souad Massi, Rasha, Maurice el Medioni, Les Orientales, Zein al-Jundi and others. In fact, not only did Zein al-Jundi write the liner notes, but she also included a new track ('Wijjak Ma’ii') from her long awaited second album. To coincide with this, Putumayo arranged for al-Jundi to perform a live concert in Austin. I was unable to go, but fortunately she performs regularly so anyone interested should try and see her perform live if you ever happen to be in Texas.
Zein al-Jundi
Rough Guide to Turkish Cafe Music
Likewise, we've already had the Rough Guides to Arabic Cafe, North African Cafe and Bellydance Cafe. Their newest release takes us to the hammams and smoke-filled coffee shops of Istanbul, Ankara and Izmir. This album spans the sounds of Anatolia, from pop star Sezen Aksu to the Gypsy Fasil sound of Selim Sesler to Sultana's controversial hip-hop. And it includes a stunning performance of Daleh Yaman by Knar and Tatiana Bostan. To top it off, later this month, they will be releasing the debut album of Algerian artist Akim el Sikameya and a DVD release of Sufi Soul, which features performances by Abida Parveen, Mercan Dede, Youssou N'Dour, Junoon and others.
Nine Heavens - Niyaz
Following hot on the heels of their debut self-titled album, Persian fusion ensemble Niyaz has released a deluxe double-CD album featuring more electronic Sufi songs for the 21st century. With the combined talents of the Azam Ali's heavenly vocals, Loga Ramin Torkian on saz and rebab, and electronic remixing from Carmen Rizzo, Niyaz is perhaps the most exciting project in Iranian music since the 'Masters of Persian Music' CDs.
Ana Hina - Natacha Atlas
The newest release by former Trans-Global Underground vocalist Natacha Atlas, this acoustic album finds her too returning to her roots. Influenced by the classical Arabic music of Abdel Halim Hafez, Muhammad Abdel Wahhab, Fairuz and Oum Kalthoum, Atlas recreates the Golden Age of Cairo's music scene. But, as always, she doesn't confine herself to Arabic music entirely. Showcasing her talents, she also does a stirring rendition of the ballad 'Black is the Color of My True Love's Hair' and reads a poem by Frida Kahlo. A good, eclectic mix, brought to life by her divine voice, as always.
That should be enough music to keep anyone happy until the forth coming Chicago World Music show, which will feature performances by Mamek Khadem, Gaida Hinnawi, Lamajaml, Richard Hagopian's Kef Time Ensemble, Baba Zula, and many others. Look forward to that.
Following up on their earlier 'From Cairo to Casablanca,' 'Arabic Groove' and 'Sahara Lounge' releases, world music label Putumayo has collected together acoustic tracks (some thus far unreleased) from Souad Massi, Rasha, Maurice el Medioni, Les Orientales, Zein al-Jundi and others. In fact, not only did Zein al-Jundi write the liner notes, but she also included a new track ('Wijjak Ma’ii') from her long awaited second album. To coincide with this, Putumayo arranged for al-Jundi to perform a live concert in Austin. I was unable to go, but fortunately she performs regularly so anyone interested should try and see her perform live if you ever happen to be in Texas.
Likewise, we've already had the Rough Guides to Arabic Cafe, North African Cafe and Bellydance Cafe. Their newest release takes us to the hammams and smoke-filled coffee shops of Istanbul, Ankara and Izmir. This album spans the sounds of Anatolia, from pop star Sezen Aksu to the Gypsy Fasil sound of Selim Sesler to Sultana's controversial hip-hop. And it includes a stunning performance of Daleh Yaman by Knar and Tatiana Bostan. To top it off, later this month, they will be releasing the debut album of Algerian artist Akim el Sikameya and a DVD release of Sufi Soul, which features performances by Abida Parveen, Mercan Dede, Youssou N'Dour, Junoon and others.
Following hot on the heels of their debut self-titled album, Persian fusion ensemble Niyaz has released a deluxe double-CD album featuring more electronic Sufi songs for the 21st century. With the combined talents of the Azam Ali's heavenly vocals, Loga Ramin Torkian on saz and rebab, and electronic remixing from Carmen Rizzo, Niyaz is perhaps the most exciting project in Iranian music since the 'Masters of Persian Music' CDs.
The newest release by former Trans-Global Underground vocalist Natacha Atlas, this acoustic album finds her too returning to her roots. Influenced by the classical Arabic music of Abdel Halim Hafez, Muhammad Abdel Wahhab, Fairuz and Oum Kalthoum, Atlas recreates the Golden Age of Cairo's music scene. But, as always, she doesn't confine herself to Arabic music entirely. Showcasing her talents, she also does a stirring rendition of the ballad 'Black is the Color of My True Love's Hair' and reads a poem by Frida Kahlo. A good, eclectic mix, brought to life by her divine voice, as always.
That should be enough music to keep anyone happy until the forth coming Chicago World Music show, which will feature performances by Mamek Khadem, Gaida Hinnawi, Lamajaml, Richard Hagopian's Kef Time Ensemble, Baba Zula, and many others. Look forward to that.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Caucasian Breakdown
So... things between Georgia (as in the Caucasian Republic of Georgia, not the U.S. State of the same name) and the Russian Federation have continued to be interesting. In theory, the Russians are acting as 'peace keepers,' and confining their efforts to South Ossetia and Abkhazia. Of course, their definition of peace-keeping seems very different from that of the rest of the world. Much in the same vein as the U.S. 'private military contractors' (wink wink) in Iraq, come to think of this. Don't you love euphemisms?
So what is all this nonsense about anyway? Well, although I'm posting this rather later than I would like, I think it my duty to put out some factual information before the vapid, pop-culture psuedo-intellectuals decide adopt the issue as their latest cause célèbre en masse, without knowing or caring about the people on the ground, and proceed to flood cyber-space with bullshit telling us what we 'need to know' about this or that.
So... Russia, the 'Evil Empire' as some of you who remember the Reagan years might know it. What is their deal? Well... the long and the short of it is that Russia has not enjoyed the most cordial relations with their Caucasian neighbors to the south. I refer in this case to Chechyna, but also Dagestan, Ingushetia, and of course Georgia.
First of all, though, let me clear up something. When I say 'Caucasian,' I do not in fact mean 'white.' Well, not directly. In this context, Caucasian refers to the Caucasus region, which includes the independent states of Armenia, Gerogia and Azerbaijan, as well as portions of the Russian Federation and perhaps Iran and Turkey. The region is far from homogeneous, however. Its more of a patchwork of ethnicites, languages and religions - Apostolic Armenians, Shi'ite Azeris, Caucasian Jews in Azerbaijan, Orthodox Abkhaz and Cossacks, Sunni Laz and Adjarians, Buddhist Kalmyks, and many others. Indeed, historically Arab georgaphers knew the region as al-Jebel al-Alsun, the Mountain of Tongues.
So how does this relate to Mother Russia, you ask? Well, this goes waaaay back to the Tsarist days of Russian expansion. See, one of the greatest ambitions of Russian Imperialism was the acquisition of warm sea ports; a quest which literally took them across Russia, from the Baltic Sea to the Pacific Ocean. Amongst the most important acquisitions were the warm, rich lands in the south.
Fast forward to today. Sure, sure, the Soviet Union has collapsed, but even so, three things have remained at the core of Russian identity - Православие (Pravoslavi, or Orthodoxy) самодержавие (Samoderzhavi, or Autocracy) and народность (Nardnost, or National Spirit). Hell, Russia can claim a direct inheritance from the ROMAN EMPIRE! Long after Rome had fallen in the West, Konstantinopolis continued to rule the East. Even after the Turks finally conquered the city in 1453, Muscovy claimed to be the 'Third Rome.' In fact, the very word Tsar (formerly transliterated as Czar) is derived from the word 'Caesar.' The Russians are a proud people, in spite of widespread poverty, depression and government corruption.
BUT... what really bothers the Russians is the loss of what they see as 'their' territory. With the collapse of the Soviet Union, not only did the Warsaw Pact countries like Hungary, Czechoslovakia, Romania and Poland go their own ways, but countries like Lithuania, Uzbekistan, Armenia, Turkmenistan, Lativa and Ukraine (and please bear in mind that Kiev is the birthplace of Russian culture) have broken away from Russia. This left many ethnic Russians stranded well beyond Russian borders, incidentally. Moreover, huge tracts of land in Asia, such as Sakha, Komi, Buryatia, Karelia and Tatarstan, have pretty much complete autonomy within the Russian Federation. As far as many Russians are concerned, the Russian Empire... no, the very SOUL of the Russian people, is being broken apart.
And thats really what Chehnya boils down to. It's not about oil or gas, as the Russians have plenty of resources. Nor is it about religion, as Islam is a majority in other areas where the Russians have few problems with the local populace. No, its really about territory; no matter how small a scrap of land, the Russians see it as part of THEIR Empire, and its a humiliation they will not accept.
I am reminded immediately of a poll I had once heard about that was conducted in Russia. The question was something along the lines of 'what ethnicity wouldn't you want moving next to you.' Incidentally, aside from western Europeans, the highest rated groups were the Gypsies, Caucasians and finally Jews. Asians and other (non-Russian) Slavs were mostly tolerated. No doubt this extreme bias reflected the (then) heightened tensions with Chechnya, as well as revealing some disturbingly widespread racial prejudices.
But, getting back to the Caucasus, this current spat of things with Georgia actually owes to the the geo-political situation in the Balkans, which goes back to another pillar of Russian identity, pan-Slavism. See, one of the main arguments for Russian expansion always hinged on the argument that the fellow Slavic peoples (particularly the Orthodox Slavs) were being oppressed by the Ottoman Turks and Austro-Hungarians. Mother Russia, then, stood to 'protect' these little Slavic brethren through military force. Similar sentiments were used to justify Soviet expansion in Eastern Europe. Of course, as always, nobody actually bothered to ask the people living there in the first place, but then I guess thats the point.
Today, the Warsaw Pact and Yugoslavia are things of the past. But the Russians still see this as 'their' backyard. So between the missile defense system in Poland and American/Western support for an independent Kosova, the Russians once again find themselves fearing that they have lost their voice on the world stage. Well, if we can back Kosovo, the Russians say to us, then they will back South Ossetia. As usual, the western media has completely forgotten about Kosova's sovereignty and moved on to the fast paced world of celebrity sex tapes and iPhones, but Russia... Russia has made good on her promise. This whole thing in South Ossetia is basically a pissing contest between Russia and the US/EU, with the Georgians caught up in between.
It doesn't help that Georgia has been seeking NATO membership, another move that I heartily support.
Now, as my old Russian teacher knows, I love the Caucasian peoples. Such a beautiful mosaic of cultures. But I don't see how South Ossetia and Abkhazia will fare any better by being annexed into the Russian Federation. Certainly their Chechnyan brethren have not fared well. But then, the geographic borders of the entire Caucasus region do not actually reflect the distribution of peoples living there, and indeed should extend well into Iran and down to the Mediterranean coast were we to draw them in any logical pattern anyway.
So what is all this nonsense about anyway? Well, although I'm posting this rather later than I would like, I think it my duty to put out some factual information before the vapid, pop-culture psuedo-intellectuals decide adopt the issue as their latest cause célèbre en masse, without knowing or caring about the people on the ground, and proceed to flood cyber-space with bullshit telling us what we 'need to know' about this or that.
So... Russia, the 'Evil Empire' as some of you who remember the Reagan years might know it. What is their deal? Well... the long and the short of it is that Russia has not enjoyed the most cordial relations with their Caucasian neighbors to the south. I refer in this case to Chechyna, but also Dagestan, Ingushetia, and of course Georgia.
First of all, though, let me clear up something. When I say 'Caucasian,' I do not in fact mean 'white.' Well, not directly. In this context, Caucasian refers to the Caucasus region, which includes the independent states of Armenia, Gerogia and Azerbaijan, as well as portions of the Russian Federation and perhaps Iran and Turkey. The region is far from homogeneous, however. Its more of a patchwork of ethnicites, languages and religions - Apostolic Armenians, Shi'ite Azeris, Caucasian Jews in Azerbaijan, Orthodox Abkhaz and Cossacks, Sunni Laz and Adjarians, Buddhist Kalmyks, and many others. Indeed, historically Arab georgaphers knew the region as al-Jebel al-Alsun, the Mountain of Tongues.
So how does this relate to Mother Russia, you ask? Well, this goes waaaay back to the Tsarist days of Russian expansion. See, one of the greatest ambitions of Russian Imperialism was the acquisition of warm sea ports; a quest which literally took them across Russia, from the Baltic Sea to the Pacific Ocean. Amongst the most important acquisitions were the warm, rich lands in the south.
Fast forward to today. Sure, sure, the Soviet Union has collapsed, but even so, three things have remained at the core of Russian identity - Православие (Pravoslavi, or Orthodoxy) самодержавие (Samoderzhavi, or Autocracy) and народность (Nardnost, or National Spirit). Hell, Russia can claim a direct inheritance from the ROMAN EMPIRE! Long after Rome had fallen in the West, Konstantinopolis continued to rule the East. Even after the Turks finally conquered the city in 1453, Muscovy claimed to be the 'Third Rome.' In fact, the very word Tsar (formerly transliterated as Czar) is derived from the word 'Caesar.' The Russians are a proud people, in spite of widespread poverty, depression and government corruption.
BUT... what really bothers the Russians is the loss of what they see as 'their' territory. With the collapse of the Soviet Union, not only did the Warsaw Pact countries like Hungary, Czechoslovakia, Romania and Poland go their own ways, but countries like Lithuania, Uzbekistan, Armenia, Turkmenistan, Lativa and Ukraine (and please bear in mind that Kiev is the birthplace of Russian culture) have broken away from Russia. This left many ethnic Russians stranded well beyond Russian borders, incidentally. Moreover, huge tracts of land in Asia, such as Sakha, Komi, Buryatia, Karelia and Tatarstan, have pretty much complete autonomy within the Russian Federation. As far as many Russians are concerned, the Russian Empire... no, the very SOUL of the Russian people, is being broken apart.
And thats really what Chehnya boils down to. It's not about oil or gas, as the Russians have plenty of resources. Nor is it about religion, as Islam is a majority in other areas where the Russians have few problems with the local populace. No, its really about territory; no matter how small a scrap of land, the Russians see it as part of THEIR Empire, and its a humiliation they will not accept.
I am reminded immediately of a poll I had once heard about that was conducted in Russia. The question was something along the lines of 'what ethnicity wouldn't you want moving next to you.' Incidentally, aside from western Europeans, the highest rated groups were the Gypsies, Caucasians and finally Jews. Asians and other (non-Russian) Slavs were mostly tolerated. No doubt this extreme bias reflected the (then) heightened tensions with Chechnya, as well as revealing some disturbingly widespread racial prejudices.
But, getting back to the Caucasus, this current spat of things with Georgia actually owes to the the geo-political situation in the Balkans, which goes back to another pillar of Russian identity, pan-Slavism. See, one of the main arguments for Russian expansion always hinged on the argument that the fellow Slavic peoples (particularly the Orthodox Slavs) were being oppressed by the Ottoman Turks and Austro-Hungarians. Mother Russia, then, stood to 'protect' these little Slavic brethren through military force. Similar sentiments were used to justify Soviet expansion in Eastern Europe. Of course, as always, nobody actually bothered to ask the people living there in the first place, but then I guess thats the point.
Today, the Warsaw Pact and Yugoslavia are things of the past. But the Russians still see this as 'their' backyard. So between the missile defense system in Poland and American/Western support for an independent Kosova, the Russians once again find themselves fearing that they have lost their voice on the world stage. Well, if we can back Kosovo, the Russians say to us, then they will back South Ossetia. As usual, the western media has completely forgotten about Kosova's sovereignty and moved on to the fast paced world of celebrity sex tapes and iPhones, but Russia... Russia has made good on her promise. This whole thing in South Ossetia is basically a pissing contest between Russia and the US/EU, with the Georgians caught up in between.
It doesn't help that Georgia has been seeking NATO membership, another move that I heartily support.
Now, as my old Russian teacher knows, I love the Caucasian peoples. Such a beautiful mosaic of cultures. But I don't see how South Ossetia and Abkhazia will fare any better by being annexed into the Russian Federation. Certainly their Chechnyan brethren have not fared well. But then, the geographic borders of the entire Caucasus region do not actually reflect the distribution of peoples living there, and indeed should extend well into Iran and down to the Mediterranean coast were we to draw them in any logical pattern anyway.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
If I Were Musharraf...
So, woke up this morning to the loving caress of a swarm of ants. Did I say 'loving caress'? I actually meant horrific venomous bites of a swarm of angry ants. I always get those two things confused. So, after the initial phase in which I wondered whether or not I had inexplicably stepped onto the set of 'The Hive,' which contrary to it's name involved killer ants not bees, I realized that they were coming into my room via the open window over my bed. Such are the dangers of living in a Third World country I suppose, so c'est la vive.
Speaking of which, Pervez Musharraf has stepped down as the President of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan. And from Lahore to Quetta, there was much rejoicing. As usual, the Beeb has a whole thing covering it. To say that Musharraf was... IS unpopular throughout Pakistan, if not all of South Asia, would be an understatement to say the least. Indeed, one suspects that the entirety of the sales of his memoirs, In the Line of Fire, owe more to threats of 'buy it or get shot' than anything else. But in all seriousness, Musharraf stepping down was mostly a way for him to avoid pending impeachment charges more than anything else.
In fact, Musharraf is so unpopular at the moment that there were suggestions he was going to leave the country, perhaps for the Gulf or Europe. My first thought was he might settle down in Chicago, seeing as how his brother is a heart surgeon out here or something like that. At the very least, he'd be a very colorful resident for our city. I mean, it's not every day you have a successful military dictator living next door to you. But alas, such is not to be, as Condaleeza Rice has announced that under no conditions would he be allowed refuge in the U.S. The last I heard, he was apparently retiring to a golf course adjacent townhouse somewhere outside of Islamabad.
If I were Musharraf, I'd consider retiring to a life of pleasure in Lahore, what with my being partial to the all things Punjabi. Then again, considering the whole disasterous Kargil affair, Musharraf isn't exactly welcome in neighboring India (which is just across the border incidentally; a border which rather unfortunately splits the Punjab in two). Which brings me to the question of what part of the Desi world HASN'T Musharraf ticked off? No doubt he'll manage to get Sri Lanka or Bhutan mad at him before he dies!
Of course, if I WERE Musharraf, I wouldn't be retiring in the first place! Oh no, like any good dictator worth my salt, I'd be coming up with half-baked evil war machines that are far more elaborate and costly than they are practical. No, I'm not talking about nukes here. Pakistan already has them anyway. No... I'm talking about stuff like cybernetic shark monsters, tanks that can drill through the earth so I can conquer enemy capitals from underground, and hidden Tesla death-rays in my radio towers. Stuff worthy of Gaddafi!
*sigh*
A man can dream, after all...
Speaking of which, Pervez Musharraf has stepped down as the President of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan. And from Lahore to Quetta, there was much rejoicing. As usual, the Beeb has a whole thing covering it. To say that Musharraf was... IS unpopular throughout Pakistan, if not all of South Asia, would be an understatement to say the least. Indeed, one suspects that the entirety of the sales of his memoirs, In the Line of Fire, owe more to threats of 'buy it or get shot' than anything else. But in all seriousness, Musharraf stepping down was mostly a way for him to avoid pending impeachment charges more than anything else.
In fact, Musharraf is so unpopular at the moment that there were suggestions he was going to leave the country, perhaps for the Gulf or Europe. My first thought was he might settle down in Chicago, seeing as how his brother is a heart surgeon out here or something like that. At the very least, he'd be a very colorful resident for our city. I mean, it's not every day you have a successful military dictator living next door to you. But alas, such is not to be, as Condaleeza Rice has announced that under no conditions would he be allowed refuge in the U.S. The last I heard, he was apparently retiring to a golf course adjacent townhouse somewhere outside of Islamabad.
If I were Musharraf, I'd consider retiring to a life of pleasure in Lahore, what with my being partial to the all things Punjabi. Then again, considering the whole disasterous Kargil affair, Musharraf isn't exactly welcome in neighboring India (which is just across the border incidentally; a border which rather unfortunately splits the Punjab in two). Which brings me to the question of what part of the Desi world HASN'T Musharraf ticked off? No doubt he'll manage to get Sri Lanka or Bhutan mad at him before he dies!
Of course, if I WERE Musharraf, I wouldn't be retiring in the first place! Oh no, like any good dictator worth my salt, I'd be coming up with half-baked evil war machines that are far more elaborate and costly than they are practical. No, I'm not talking about nukes here. Pakistan already has them anyway. No... I'm talking about stuff like cybernetic shark monsters, tanks that can drill through the earth so I can conquer enemy capitals from underground, and hidden Tesla death-rays in my radio towers. Stuff worthy of Gaddafi!
*sigh*
A man can dream, after all...
Monday, August 18, 2008
He Seyz Itz a Bigfoot Youz Guyz
I must apologize to my loyal fans minions for not posting in my blog lately, but current events have unfortunately seen to it that my attentions are focused elsewhere at the moment. Not the least of these being Russia's bellicose neo-imperial ambitions at expansion into the Caucasus region, perhaps intent on reviving the Soviet Union at the expense of Georgia. Then again, the Russians have never gotten along well with their Caucasian neighbors in the south (witness Chechnya and Dagestan). But I shall speak more on that later. Right now, I feel like blogging about bigger things.
Well, bigger feet at any rate. No doubt those of you who know me by now were wondering why I hadn't posted about the newest bigfoot hoax making its way through our modern world's mass media machine. Well, now I am, so stop complaining.
Like so much Forteana in this Goblin Universe of ours, the story of a 'bigfoot corpse in a freezer' first came to my attention late one night while I was passing the idle hours listening to George Noorey on Coast to Coast AM. Good times those. My immediate first thought was that they were talking about the Minnesota Iceman, one of the legendary, holy grails of Cryptozoology. For those not in the know, the story has some striking similarities with this case. It began in 1968 in Minnesota, when one Frank Hansen displayed what looked for all intents and purposes to be an apeman frozen in a block of ice. Unfortunately, his contradictory claims about whether or not he owned it, that he had both a real one and a replica, and regarding its origin (either it was shot by hunters in the Midwest, smuggled out of Vietnam in a bodybag, or found by sailors in Siberia) did little for his credibility. But two legends of Cryptozoology, Ivan T. Sanderson and Bernard Heuvelmans, bothed examined it and believed it to be an authentic latter-day Neanderthal from Asia.
How sad, then, that this new apeman has none of the panache of his infamous predecessor. Perhaps to make up for this, though, his current proprietors have certainly provided just as many contradictory stories as Hansen did before them. Through friends in the media, I've been able to hear the 'press conference' that these two yahoos chose to give about bigfoot. Of course, they didn't actually show us anything, nor have they allowed any actual scientists to see him, so it was more like a group of people standing around talking about something which may or may not have ever happened. In fact, thats exactly what it was. The fact that the DNA tests came back human, human and POSSUM(!) does little to bolster their case.
Of course, their photos of the alleged sasquatch (or 'wood ape') make it look more like a surprise grab bag of old Halloween costumes mixed with assorted bits of road kill, so I suppose my expectations shouldn't have been too high in the first place. Let me just say, their press conference managed to take it to a whole new level of surreal, almost from the moment that the president of the PR firm introduced them using terms like 'youz guys.' One assumes he must have been a 'businessman' *wink wink* who would break your legs (or perhaps feet in this case) in his previous line of work, if you get my drift. Sometime between that and announcing all of the .coms involved in this, the vast majority of the press (save perhaps the good folks at The Onion) got up and left. They didn't miss much, beyond the two of them talking about going out to the 'backwoods,' nudge nudge, and being surrounded by a group of bigfoots. Or something to that effect.
At this point, a lesser man would make some sort of joke about what they were doing in the backwoods, but thats beneath me.
Loren Coleman was a guest on Coast to Coast that night, but even he couldn't really add much to this. Thats why I propose that the entire thing - the story, the fake body, the press conference, all of it - is part of an elaborate conspiracy to cover up the truth, no doubt instigated by the Illuminati, the One World government, the military-industrial complex and a cabal of international bankers. The entire story is otherwise too ludicrous and surreal to be anything else. No doubt they want to make us internet bloggers look like conspiratorial lunatics rambling on about pseudo-scientific nonsense in order to discredit us.
Perhaps as part of the conspiracy, or perhaps to cash in on the current news, History Channel repeated the newest bigfoot episode of MonsterQuest, focusing in on Native American bigfoot stories. Specifically the Nations around California and the Pacific Northwest, such as the Miwok. I found it to be a very interesting episode, in no small part because so few cryptozoology shows have focused on the oral histories of indigenous peoples.
As you might have guessed, I naturally gravitated to the UFO Symposium 3 put on by the Illinois MUFON, or Mutual UFO Network, in Tinley Park this weekend. Stanton Friedman, who has been a guest on Coast to Coast AM and the Roe Conn Show this past week, was a guest lecturer, along with Donald Schmitt, Ted Phillips and Sam Maranto. Very informative.
I've also been watching the American premiere of Primeval on the Beeb. I'd heard of the show from my friends, who had seen the first two seasons already (bloody Brits). Brilliant! Thats all I can say. The newest episode, Stateside at any rate, featured Arthropleura, which was re-imagined as a sort of gigantic centipede. And an angry giant centipede at that. Almost makes me want to tear down the walls of time and space, so that I could get some sort of gigantic prehistoric horrors to step into the modern era. Just to keep them as pets, you know? Who wouldn't want a Spinosaurus, Zeuglodon, Deinonychus, Andrewsarchus, Dimetrodon or Eurypterid? Better still, I could ride a freakin' Arsionotherium to work! Now THAT would be a fitting image for your God-King, no? Even Alexander didn't do that, though one could argue his beloved mount Bucephalus was a monster in his own right (if the legends of anthrophagus horses are to be believed).
That should be enough to keep you lot entertained until next week, when I give some insight into the latest round of Russian aggression in the Caucasus. Just remember not to tick off any hairy ape men (or women, if you believe the stories about Zhanna) and you should be fine until then.
Well, bigger feet at any rate. No doubt those of you who know me by now were wondering why I hadn't posted about the newest bigfoot hoax making its way through our modern world's mass media machine. Well, now I am, so stop complaining.
Like so much Forteana in this Goblin Universe of ours, the story of a 'bigfoot corpse in a freezer' first came to my attention late one night while I was passing the idle hours listening to George Noorey on Coast to Coast AM. Good times those. My immediate first thought was that they were talking about the Minnesota Iceman, one of the legendary, holy grails of Cryptozoology. For those not in the know, the story has some striking similarities with this case. It began in 1968 in Minnesota, when one Frank Hansen displayed what looked for all intents and purposes to be an apeman frozen in a block of ice. Unfortunately, his contradictory claims about whether or not he owned it, that he had both a real one and a replica, and regarding its origin (either it was shot by hunters in the Midwest, smuggled out of Vietnam in a bodybag, or found by sailors in Siberia) did little for his credibility. But two legends of Cryptozoology, Ivan T. Sanderson and Bernard Heuvelmans, bothed examined it and believed it to be an authentic latter-day Neanderthal from Asia.
How sad, then, that this new apeman has none of the panache of his infamous predecessor. Perhaps to make up for this, though, his current proprietors have certainly provided just as many contradictory stories as Hansen did before them. Through friends in the media, I've been able to hear the 'press conference' that these two yahoos chose to give about bigfoot. Of course, they didn't actually show us anything, nor have they allowed any actual scientists to see him, so it was more like a group of people standing around talking about something which may or may not have ever happened. In fact, thats exactly what it was. The fact that the DNA tests came back human, human and POSSUM(!) does little to bolster their case.
Of course, their photos of the alleged sasquatch (or 'wood ape') make it look more like a surprise grab bag of old Halloween costumes mixed with assorted bits of road kill, so I suppose my expectations shouldn't have been too high in the first place. Let me just say, their press conference managed to take it to a whole new level of surreal, almost from the moment that the president of the PR firm introduced them using terms like 'youz guys.' One assumes he must have been a 'businessman' *wink wink* who would break your legs (or perhaps feet in this case) in his previous line of work, if you get my drift. Sometime between that and announcing all of the .coms involved in this, the vast majority of the press (save perhaps the good folks at The Onion) got up and left. They didn't miss much, beyond the two of them talking about going out to the 'backwoods,' nudge nudge, and being surrounded by a group of bigfoots. Or something to that effect.
At this point, a lesser man would make some sort of joke about what they were doing in the backwoods, but thats beneath me.
Loren Coleman was a guest on Coast to Coast that night, but even he couldn't really add much to this. Thats why I propose that the entire thing - the story, the fake body, the press conference, all of it - is part of an elaborate conspiracy to cover up the truth, no doubt instigated by the Illuminati, the One World government, the military-industrial complex and a cabal of international bankers. The entire story is otherwise too ludicrous and surreal to be anything else. No doubt they want to make us internet bloggers look like conspiratorial lunatics rambling on about pseudo-scientific nonsense in order to discredit us.
Perhaps as part of the conspiracy, or perhaps to cash in on the current news, History Channel repeated the newest bigfoot episode of MonsterQuest, focusing in on Native American bigfoot stories. Specifically the Nations around California and the Pacific Northwest, such as the Miwok. I found it to be a very interesting episode, in no small part because so few cryptozoology shows have focused on the oral histories of indigenous peoples.
As you might have guessed, I naturally gravitated to the UFO Symposium 3 put on by the Illinois MUFON, or Mutual UFO Network, in Tinley Park this weekend. Stanton Friedman, who has been a guest on Coast to Coast AM and the Roe Conn Show this past week, was a guest lecturer, along with Donald Schmitt, Ted Phillips and Sam Maranto. Very informative.
I've also been watching the American premiere of Primeval on the Beeb. I'd heard of the show from my friends, who had seen the first two seasons already (bloody Brits). Brilliant! Thats all I can say. The newest episode, Stateside at any rate, featured Arthropleura, which was re-imagined as a sort of gigantic centipede. And an angry giant centipede at that. Almost makes me want to tear down the walls of time and space, so that I could get some sort of gigantic prehistoric horrors to step into the modern era. Just to keep them as pets, you know? Who wouldn't want a Spinosaurus, Zeuglodon, Deinonychus, Andrewsarchus, Dimetrodon or Eurypterid? Better still, I could ride a freakin' Arsionotherium to work! Now THAT would be a fitting image for your God-King, no? Even Alexander didn't do that, though one could argue his beloved mount Bucephalus was a monster in his own right (if the legends of anthrophagus horses are to be believed).
That should be enough to keep you lot entertained until next week, when I give some insight into the latest round of Russian aggression in the Caucasus. Just remember not to tick off any hairy ape men (or women, if you believe the stories about Zhanna) and you should be fine until then.
Friday, August 8, 2008
The Feasting Continues
So, Shark Week has come and gone, but the feasting continues. Picked up a copy of Rogue from Target, which incidentally features Radha Mitchell (from 'Pitch Black' and 'Silent Hill') as an Aussie tour guide. I didn't know that. Honestly, all I knew was it has a giant saltwater crocodile running amok Down Under. Who wouldn't like that? So, in continuing with this week's theme, I got to sit down and watch 'Rogue,' 'Croc,' and 'Lake Placid.' Like I said, the feasting continues.
Also of note, when I got home the other day, I had a mysterious package from 'The Venture Brothers,' which I quickly deduced was the T-shirt of the week that I had ordered I don't even know how many weeks ago. Needless to say, considering that I was beginning to fear they weren't sending it for some arcane reason, I was quite satisfied to get my grubby little paws on it. So ladies and gentlemen, behold the 'Order of the Triad' shirt:
As you can see, it's quite a spiffy looking shirt, no? Go Team Venture!
P.S. - If you look closely, you'll notice I'm wearing my lucky shark's tooth amulet around my neck
Also of note, when I got home the other day, I had a mysterious package from 'The Venture Brothers,' which I quickly deduced was the T-shirt of the week that I had ordered I don't even know how many weeks ago. Needless to say, considering that I was beginning to fear they weren't sending it for some arcane reason, I was quite satisfied to get my grubby little paws on it. So ladies and gentlemen, behold the 'Order of the Triad' shirt:
As you can see, it's quite a spiffy looking shirt, no? Go Team Venture!
P.S. - If you look closely, you'll notice I'm wearing my lucky shark's tooth amulet around my neck
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Gifts Born of the Sea
Well, I'm back. As you probably know, last week was Shark Week on Discovery Channel. It was also the premiere of Jurassic Fight Club and Evolve on History Channel, along with a new episode of MonsterQuest. And, to sweeten the deal, AMC played Jaws and Jaws II. Thats alot of good TV right there. But, as much as I love Shark Week, I do have a life, so I recorded it and have been watching it all on DVD. All in all, pretty good viewing right there.
As if in agreement with the concept of Shark Week, it seems the 'goblin universe' has seen fit to throw us a few bones which, to the eyes of any other observer might be dismissed as nothing more than a mere coincidences.
First, the so-called Montauk Monster, the strange (and as-of-yet unidentified) carcass of which allegedly washed ashore on the beaches of Montauk, New York on 12 July 2008. Shortly after photographs of this bête noir hit major news outlets on the 29th, it went digital and became an online phenomena in it's own right (spawning more than a few memes in and of itself).
As you can see, he (and it's quite obviously a 'he,' judging by that assortment of junk he's got dangling there) is quite a fascinating little bugger. Speculation as to his identity has ranged from the absurd (a sea turtle) to the mundane (a dog). Personally I'd prefer to think that he's a chupacabra, spawned into existence by an angry and cynical universe just to spite me. But... a more sober analysis would be that he's a raccoon, or maybe a dog.
It occurs to me that every time we have a 'mysterious creature,' the witnesses obviously have the time to take one (or more) blurry photos, but never have the foresight to just take the whole damned carcass, the skull, or even just a half-way decent tissue sample, all of which could easily answer the question as to it's identity. Furthermore, as with any good UFO or sea serpent photo, absolutely nothing is included in the picture that we can use as a reference in terms of the creature's size. We hardly know whether the creature should be measured in inches or feet, which only broadens the number of animals it can be.
This is, of course, assuming that the creature is in fact an actual unidentified animal, and not just a piece of photoshopped artwork, perhaps as a promotion for some recent cryptozoology themed TV show like Cryptids are Real or MonsterQuest. Then again, perhaps I should be thankful to even have a hoax like that in my lifetime. Its been quite a while since we've had, say, a Cardiff giant, Feejee mermaid or Ica stone.
Assuming that it is real, and is a previously identified animal, we can safely say the Montauk Monster is a mammal, and that it was a carnivore. That is to say, a member of the Order Carnivora... dogs, cats, weasals, bears, hyenas and the like. My second guess would be an artiodactyl (pig). The creature has prominent canine teeth, but lacks the incisors one would expect from a rodent. Whatever it is, it has been shaved and left to decay, with some bloating and tissue loss as a result. It looks like part of the face has been removed, eaten or fallen off to boot.
The end result? It is (or rather, was) either a raccoon, pig or dog, in descending order of likelihood. But then, thats just my opinion; feel free to take or leave it as you see fit. After all, I'm just some nut on the internet.
The second news item of interest, or perhaps just amusement, is another case of synchronicity with Shark Week - American Idol (or, as we call it in the Arabic World, سوبر ستار) host Ryan Seacrest was attacked by a shark! A sand shark to be exact. Considering how rare shark attacks actually are, it's always ironic to get one during Shark Week, let alone on a celebrity. I wish Mr. Seacrest no particular ill will, for the record. I just think that this is another example of the universe playing tricks and making fools of us all.
Regardless, I still have several more hours worth of shark attacks to watch. And a lucky shark's tooth amulet.
As if in agreement with the concept of Shark Week, it seems the 'goblin universe' has seen fit to throw us a few bones which, to the eyes of any other observer might be dismissed as nothing more than a mere coincidences.
First, the so-called Montauk Monster, the strange (and as-of-yet unidentified) carcass of which allegedly washed ashore on the beaches of Montauk, New York on 12 July 2008. Shortly after photographs of this bête noir hit major news outlets on the 29th, it went digital and became an online phenomena in it's own right (spawning more than a few memes in and of itself).
As you can see, he (and it's quite obviously a 'he,' judging by that assortment of junk he's got dangling there) is quite a fascinating little bugger. Speculation as to his identity has ranged from the absurd (a sea turtle) to the mundane (a dog). Personally I'd prefer to think that he's a chupacabra, spawned into existence by an angry and cynical universe just to spite me. But... a more sober analysis would be that he's a raccoon, or maybe a dog.
It occurs to me that every time we have a 'mysterious creature,' the witnesses obviously have the time to take one (or more) blurry photos, but never have the foresight to just take the whole damned carcass, the skull, or even just a half-way decent tissue sample, all of which could easily answer the question as to it's identity. Furthermore, as with any good UFO or sea serpent photo, absolutely nothing is included in the picture that we can use as a reference in terms of the creature's size. We hardly know whether the creature should be measured in inches or feet, which only broadens the number of animals it can be.
This is, of course, assuming that the creature is in fact an actual unidentified animal, and not just a piece of photoshopped artwork, perhaps as a promotion for some recent cryptozoology themed TV show like Cryptids are Real or MonsterQuest. Then again, perhaps I should be thankful to even have a hoax like that in my lifetime. Its been quite a while since we've had, say, a Cardiff giant, Feejee mermaid or Ica stone.
Assuming that it is real, and is a previously identified animal, we can safely say the Montauk Monster is a mammal, and that it was a carnivore. That is to say, a member of the Order Carnivora... dogs, cats, weasals, bears, hyenas and the like. My second guess would be an artiodactyl (pig). The creature has prominent canine teeth, but lacks the incisors one would expect from a rodent. Whatever it is, it has been shaved and left to decay, with some bloating and tissue loss as a result. It looks like part of the face has been removed, eaten or fallen off to boot.
The end result? It is (or rather, was) either a raccoon, pig or dog, in descending order of likelihood. But then, thats just my opinion; feel free to take or leave it as you see fit. After all, I'm just some nut on the internet.
The second news item of interest, or perhaps just amusement, is another case of synchronicity with Shark Week - American Idol (or, as we call it in the Arabic World, سوبر ستار) host Ryan Seacrest was attacked by a shark! A sand shark to be exact. Considering how rare shark attacks actually are, it's always ironic to get one during Shark Week, let alone on a celebrity. I wish Mr. Seacrest no particular ill will, for the record. I just think that this is another example of the universe playing tricks and making fools of us all.
Regardless, I still have several more hours worth of shark attacks to watch. And a lucky shark's tooth amulet.
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